Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Avoid redundancy (e.g., "hanging out at home" and "alone" overlap) and watch verb forms (use past tense consistently). Use a linking word to connect your reason.

예시: Not really. When I was a child I was quite introverted, so I preferred staying at home rather than going to parks. For example, I felt safer reading books or playing games at home with one close friend rather than joining large outdoor groups.

제안: Give a direct topic sentence and then support it with specific reasons and a linking word. Replace vague phrases like "in the middle" with clearer expressions (e.g., "I'm ambivalent"). Keep sentences natural and avoid repetition of "for me."

예시: I'm ambivalent about parks now. I sometimes go to relax and get fresh air, but I often prefer activities like singing karaoke with close friends or watching Formula 1 because they feel more exciting and social.

제안: Give a clear direct answer followed by two concise, specific reasons using linking words. Correct grammar (use "there are" and avoid absolutes like "absolutely enough"). Mention one short example or consequence to strengthen your point.

예시: Not really. There are already many parks in Shenzhen, and land is limited, so building more could strain resources. For example, the city might need to preserve land for housing or schools instead.

제안: Avoid informal or religious expressions that are irrelevant ("Jesus has said"). Start with a direct answer, then give a realistic condition and specific detail. Use correct tense and natural phrasing ("if a friend invited me").

예시: Not particularly. I'm more of an introvert and prefer staying at home, but if a close friend invited me to a park I would gladly go to spend time with them and enjoy a walk or a picnic.

× I'm afraid I didn't because when I was young I was a total introvert, so compared with heading out to the parks, I prefer to staying at home or hanging out at home with my friends or alone instead because that made me feel safer.

✓ I'm afraid I didn't because when I was young I was a total introvert, so compared with heading out to the parks, I preferred staying at home or hanging out at home with my friends or alone instead because that made me feel safer.

The sentence mixes past and present tenses incorrectly. The speaker refers to a past habit ('when I was young'), so verbs describing preference in that past period should be in the past tense. Change 'I prefer to staying' to 'I preferred staying' (also corrects verb form: 'prefer to staying' is wrong; use 'prefer to stay' or 'preferred staying'). Use 'preferred staying' to match the past context and maintain parallel structure. Suggested improvement: Decide the time frame (past or present) and keep verbs consistent; use 'prefer to + base verb' or 'prefer + -ing' but match tense (prefer -> prefer to stay / preferred -> preferred to stay/preferred staying).

× For me, I feel like I am in the middle. Going to the park for me is a good option to unwind, but there are definitely some better options like going to the karaoke with my best friends or watching F1 races.

✓ For me, I feel like I am in the middle. Going to the park is a good option to unwind, but there are definitely some better options like going to karaoke with my best friends or watching F1 races.

Minor article and word-choice issues affect natural present-tense usage. 'Going to the park for me' is redundant; 'Going to the park is a good option' is clearer. 'going to the karaoke' is incorrect because 'karaoke' generally does not take the definite article in this context; use 'going to karaoke'. Keep present tense consistent. Suggested improvement: Remove redundant phrases and unnecessary articles to make sentences concise and natural.

× Honestly not really because there've been enough parks in my city Shenzhen and the land resources are already under great strain, so I believe nowadays the number of parks are absolutely enough and good to use.

✓ Honestly, not really, because there have been enough parks in my city, Shenzhen, and the land resources are already under great strain, so I believe nowadays the number of parks is absolutely enough and adequate for use.

Multiple issues: contraction 'there've' is informal but acceptable; more importantly, 'the number of parks are' has subject-verb agreement error—'the number' is singular, so use 'is'. Also punctuation needed around 'Shenzhen'. 'Absolutely enough and good to use' is awkward; 'absolutely enough and adequate for use' or simply 'more than enough' is clearer. Keep present perfect 'have been' to indicate existing situation. Suggested improvement: Ensure the verb agrees with the subject ('the number ... is') and use clearer, more natural collocations ('more than enough', 'adequate for use').

× Actually not really because Jesus has said I'm an introvert so I am more into hanging out at home. But if my friend had that needs or gave me an invitation I would definitely follow their steps and enjoy our time in the parks.

✓ Actually, not really, because I've always been an introvert, so I prefer hanging out at home. But if a friend needed company or gave me an invitation I would definitely go with them and enjoy our time in the park.

Several problems: invoking 'Jesus has said' is likely inappropriate and not grammatical/idiomatic here; replace with 'I've always been an introvert' to convey personal tendency. 'If my friend had that needs' mixes singular/plural and is ungrammatical—use 'if a friend needed company' or 'if my friend had that need'. 'Follow their steps' is awkward; use 'go with them'. Also 'parks' should match context—'the park' or 'parks' depending; 'our time in the park' is natural. Pronoun agreement: use 'a friend' with 'them' is acceptable, but clarity improved by 'go with them'. Suggested improvement: Use clear, idiomatic expressions for personal traits and conditional sentences; ensure noun-verb agreement and natural pronoun references.