Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Make the response grammatically correct, more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence that directly answers the question, then give one or two specific reasons using linking words (e.g., because, so, therefore). Avoid repetition and keep it within 2–4 sentences.

예시: Not really. I rarely went to parks as a child because the nearest park was quite far from my home and I had a lot of homework after school. Therefore, I didn’t have enough time or energy to play there.

제안: Give a direct answer first, then support it with clear reasons and use linking words (e.g., although, but, because). Correct grammar (subject-verb agreement) and reduce redundancy. Keep to 2–3 sentences and include a specific detail.

예시: Not really. Although I appreciate parks for fresh air, I seldom visit them because I prefer staying home to play computer games and I don’t find park activities very appealing as an adult.

제안: Answer directly and use clear reasons with linking phrases (for example, because, so). Be specific about benefits (e.g., cleaner air, recreation, community space) and correct vocabulary (e.g., air quality, tourist attraction). Keep to 2–3 concise sentences.

예시: Yes, I would. Building more parks would improve air quality and provide residents with places for exercise and relaxation, and they can also attract tourists and improve the city’s image.

제안: Give a clear, natural reply naming the park and then give specific reasons using linking words (e.g., because, for example). Remove fillers (uh, umm) and correct phrasing. Limit to 2–3 sentences and include a specific activity you would like to do there.

예시: I would love to visit Yellowstone National Park in the future because I’ve seen documentaries about its dramatic landscapes and wildlife. For example, I’d enjoy hiking to see geysers and spending time outdoors imagining the cowboy lifestyle portrayed in those shows.

× Not, not really.

✓ Not really.

The original contains an unnecessary comma and repetition 'Not, not really.' which is informal and ungrammatical. Removing the extra 'Not,' yields the natural response 'Not really.' Suggestion: keep answers concise and avoid repeated negation when not needed.

× I seldom to go to the park because park is very far from my home and the daily work is very heavy.

✓ I seldom went to the park because the park was very far from my home and I had a lot of schoolwork.

Errors: 'seldom to go' uses incorrect infinitive after 'seldom' (should use base or past depending on time), missing articles before 'park', tense mismatch and awkward 'daily work is very heavy'. The question asks about childhood (past), so use past tense: 'seldom went'. Use 'the park' and 'was very far'. Replace 'daily work is very heavy' with 'I had a lot of schoolwork' for clarity. Suggestion: match time reference, use correct verb form after adverbs like 'seldom', and include articles where needed.

× I didn't have enough time to play in the park and I also have the job to do after school.

✓ I didn't have enough time to play in the park, and I also had homework to do after school.

Mixed tenses: sentence starts in past ('didn't have') but shifts to present ('have'). Also 'the job' is incorrect for school context; use 'homework'. For past context, change 'have' to 'had' and 'the job' to 'homework'. Suggestion: keep tense consistent within the sentence and use appropriate nouns for context.

× Well, I'm an adult now, not a child, is not very keen on playing with friends in the park so it didn't have enough attractions to me and I also have to play the computer games during the past time, so it's not necessary.

✓ Well, I'm an adult now, not a child, so I'm not very keen on playing with friends in the park. It doesn't hold much attraction for me, and I also spend time playing computer games, so it's not necessary.

Multiple issues: pronoun and subject omissions ('is not very keen' lacks subject), tense and reference errors ('didn't have enough attractions to me' incorrect structure), incorrect time expression 'during the past time'. Corrections: add subjects ('I'm'), use present tense 'doesn't hold' for current preferences, use 'attraction for me', and 'spend time playing computer games' for habitual present. Suggestion: break long sentences into clearer clauses, include explicit subjects, and choose correct idiomatic expressions.

× Of course the more park built in city will improve the air rates and also is a sightseeing during the the distance to school and it's also a symbol of the city I think.

✓ Of course, the more parks built in the city will improve air quality and provide sightseeing areas on the route to school; they are also symbols of the city, I think.

Errors: missing plural 'parks', missing articles 'the city', wrong phrase 'air rates' (should be 'air quality'), awkward 'is a sightseeing during the the distance to school'. Use plural 'parks' and 'parks built', 'provide sightseeing areas on the route to school' is clearer. Also 'they are also symbols' to match plural. Suggestion: use correct plurals and articles, choose precise nouns ('air quality'), and simplify complex ideas into clearer phrases.

× Well, if it's possible, I prefer to the Yellowstone Park.

✓ Well, if possible, I would prefer to go to Yellowstone Park.

Errors: 'prefer to the Yellowstone Park' lacks verb and uses incorrect article 'the' (many park names omit 'the'). Also 'prefer' requires an infinitive 'to go' or 'I would prefer Yellowstone Park'. Use conditional 'would prefer' for hypothetical future. Suggestion: include appropriate verb after 'prefer', and use correct name form 'Yellowstone Park' without 'the'.

× I have watched, uh, TV shows called, uh, Yellowstone Park, umm, that was very attractive and I want to say the views there and uh, enjoy the time as a cowboy.

✓ I have watched TV shows called Yellowstone, which were very attractive, and I want to see the views there and enjoy time dressed as a cowboy.

Problems: disfluent filler words, incorrect relative clause 'that was very attractive' (shows -> plural 'were'), awkward 'I want to say the views' (should be 'see the views'), and 'enjoy the time as a cowboy' is unnatural; 'enjoy time dressed as a cowboy' or 'experience being a cowboy' is clearer. Suggestion: remove fillers, match verb number to subject, use correct verbs ('see' instead of 'say'), and choose natural expressions for experiences.