Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Câu trả lời cần rõ ràng hơn, ngắn gọn hơn và tránh lặp từ, phát âm bị ngập ngừng. Nên có 1 câu chủ đề trực tiếp trả lời “Yes” rồi 1–2 câu hỗ trợ nêu lý do cụ thể (ví dụ: chơi trò chơi, picnic, chạy nhảy với họ hàng) dùng liên từ phù hợp để mạch lạc. Lưu ý thì của động từ và tránh filler như “uh”.

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I often played games and had picnics with my family and cousins, which made me feel happy and forget my worries.

제안: Câu trả lời mơ hồ và có nhiều lỗi ngữ pháp (mệnh đề, từ vựng ‘address’ không đúng). Cần trả lời rõ ràng (Yes/No), giải thích vì sao với 1–2 lý do cụ thể, dùng liên từ để mạch lạc và tránh lặp filler. Ví dụ nêu môi trường đông đúc, ồn ào là lý do không thích hoặc nêu thích không gian yên tĩnh.

예시: Not really, I don’t go to parks much now because they are often crowded and noisy, and I prefer quieter places for relaxing or exercising.

제안: Ý tưởng tốt nhưng cần ngôn ngữ chính xác hơn và câu mạch lạc: bắt đầu bằng câu chủ đề trả lời trực tiếp, sau đó nêu lý do cụ thể (ví dụ: không khí trong lành, chỗ chơi cho trẻ em, không gian xanh). Tránh lỗi so sánh ‘more fresher’ (dùng ‘fresher’ hoặc ‘more fresh’), sửa phát âm và giảm filler.

예시: Yes, I would like more parks in my city because they would improve air quality and provide safe places for children to play and for people to relax.

제안: Ý trả lời rõ ràng nhưng cần dùng tên chính xác và câu ngắn gọn hơn, cùng với lý do cụ thể tại sao muốn đến (ví dụ: attractions, family fun). Sửa lỗi phát âm và ngữ pháp (‘being wonders’ không đúng; có thể là ‘Wonderland’ hoặc ‘Universal Studios’). Nên nói thêm một câu về kế hoạch hoặc cảm xúc.

예시: Yes, I would like to visit Disneyland in the future because of its famous attractions and family-friendly atmosphere, and I am saving money to make the trip.

× Yes, what I want to try, I really love to go to parks because I can enjoy so many our activities with my uh, family and my cousins and it's make me feel happy and forget the and forgot the, the sad.

✓ Yes, I really loved going to parks because I could enjoy so many activities with my family and cousins, and it made me feel happy and forget my sadness.

Student used incorrect pronouns and mixed tenses. 'our activities' should be 'activities' or 'family activities'; 'it's make me' should be 'it made me' to match past time of childhood; 'forget the and forgot the, the sad' is ungrammatical; use 'forget my sadness'. Suggestion: decide past tense for childhood (loved, could, made) and use correct possessive pronoun 'my' for feelings.

× Uh, maybe now because I feel the address is not, uh, is very crowded and I am not like this activities.

✓ Maybe not now because I feel the parks are very crowded and I do not like these activities.

Errors include incorrect noun 'address' instead of 'parks', incorrect verb forms and demonstratives. Use present tense for current preference: 'parks are very crowded'. 'I am not like this activities' should be 'I do not like these activities' (correct auxiliary 'do' and plural demonstrative 'these'). Suggestion: use 'do not like' for negative present and match plural 'activities' with 'these'.

× Wow, from the bottom of my heart I still see more parts in my city. I'm not sure as uh, because where my city ha has more parts, the the air there will be more fresher.

✓ Wow, from the bottom of my heart I would like to see more parks in my city. I'm not sure, but if my city had more parks, the air there would be fresher.

Multiple pronoun and word choice errors: 'see more parts' should be 'see more parks'; 'ha has' is incorrect verb form; conditional meaning requires past subjunctive/conditional structure 'if my city had... would be'. Also, 'more fresher' is redundant; use 'fresher'. Suggestion: use 'would like' for desire, 'if + past' plus 'would' for hypothetical, and avoid double comparatives.

× Yes, uh, it's Disneyland and being wonders. That's those are my favorite parks in the future and I'm trying to get enough money to go there.

✓ Yes, Disneyland and Universal Studios are the parks I want to visit in the future. Those are my favorite parks and I'm trying to save enough money to go there.

Errors: 'it's Disneyland and being wonders' is incorrect naming and verb forms; use proper park names (e.g., Universal Studios) and plural agreement. 'That's those are' is redundant; choose 'Those are'. 'Trying to get enough money' is colloquial; 'trying to save enough money' is clearer. Suggestion: use correct noun phrases for park names, ensure subject-verb agreement, and use 'save' for collecting money for travel.

× I'm not sure as uh, because where my city ha has more parts, the the air there will be more fresher.

✓ I'm not sure, but if my city had more parks, the air there would be fresher.

This repeats earlier content but focuses on sentence structure: original mixes clauses incorrectly ('I'm not sure as because where...'). Correct structure uses a clear contrast 'I'm not sure, but if...' and proper conditional verb forms. Suggestion: simplify complex clauses and use standard conditional forms.