Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Make your answer more natural and grammatically correct: start with a clear topic sentence, correct verb tenses, avoid repetition, and add one specific supporting detail. Use a linking word to connect ideas.

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I often went with my family to play on the swings and have picnics, which I remember as exciting and relaxing. For example, on weekends we would bring snacks and play games on the grass.

제안: Reduce hesitation and repetition, use concise, natural sentences, and add a linking word to show time or reason. Be specific about activities that reduce stress.

예시: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because they help me relax after a busy day. For instance, I often sit on a bench and read or take a short walk in the evenings, especially at the weekend, which helps me unwind.

제안: Make your statement clearer and more fluent: remove filler words, use correct noun phrases, and provide a concrete reason or example. Use linking words like 'because' and 'for example' effectively.

예시: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they provide space for people of all ages to exercise and relax. For example, new parks could include walking paths, outdoor yoga areas and playgrounds for children.

제안: Give a direct topic sentence, correct grammar, avoid fillers, and add a brief supporting detail explaining why you don't prefer a specific park.

예시: I don't have a particular park in mind because I find most parks peaceful. For example, whether it's a small neighborhood green space or a larger city park, I enjoy the quiet atmosphere and fresh air.

× When I was a child I like to go parks because I feel they're quite enjoyable and I think the swings there would be enjoyable and also I would love to spend time there with my family.

✓ When I was a child I liked to go to parks because I felt they were quite enjoyable, and I thought the swings there were fun; I also loved spending time there with my family.

The original sentence mixes past experiences with present-tense verbs (like, feel, think, would be, would love). For describing past habitual actions, use past tense verbs (liked, felt, thought, were, loved). Also 'go parks' is missing the preposition 'to'. Use parallel tense throughout and correct preposition use. Suggestion: use past simple consistently for past habits and include 'to' with 'go'.

× To be very honest, I still like going to parks because, uh, because they, it, it reduces my stress.

✓ To be very honest, I still like going to parks because they reduce my stress.

The sentence contains inconsistent and incorrect pronoun references ('they, it, it'). 'Parks' is plural so use the plural pronoun 'they' and the plural verb 'reduce'. Remove filler words and repeated pronouns for clarity. Suggestion: choose the correct pronoun that matches the noun number and keep the verb agreement correct.

× I, uh, I sit alone there and spend my evenings, especially on the weekends.

✓ I sit there alone and spend my evenings there, especially on weekends.

Sentence is mostly correct but word order and article usage are slightly awkward. 'On the weekends' can be simplified to 'on weekends' for general habit. Place 'there' after 'sit' or after 'evenings' for clarity. Suggestion: keep consistent word order and avoid unnecessary filler.

× I would love to go there because I'm free on my weekends.

✓ I would love to go there because I'm free on weekends.

'On my weekends' is unnatural when speaking about general free time; use 'on weekends'. The conditional 'would love' is acceptable for expressing preference but ensure the time phrase is natural. Suggestion: use 'on weekends' for habitual availability.

× I would like to see more parks in my city because I think every, uh, people of ages will come there and they would love to spend the time in the parks by doing exercises, yoga and children also love to enjoy the swings.

✓ I would like to see more parks in my city because I think people of all ages will come, and they would love to spend time in the parks doing exercise or yoga; children also enjoy the swings.

The phrase 'every people of ages' is ungrammatical. Use 'people of all ages' to express inclusivity. 'Spend the time' should be 'spend time' and list items more naturally ('doing exercise or yoga'). 'Children also love to enjoy the swings' is wordy; 'children also enjoy the swings' is concise. Suggestion: use correct quantifier 'all' with 'ages', remove unnecessary articles, and simplify verbs.

× Not a particular one because I found peace in every park I love to spend me time.

✓ Not a particular one, because I found peace in every park; I love to spend time there.

This sentence mixes past tense 'found' with present 'love' and has incorrect reflexive/object wording 'me time'. Use consistent tense or separate clauses: 'I found peace' (past) and 'I love to spend time there' (present general preference) — both are acceptable if separated. Also 'me time' is informal and should be 'time' or 'me-time' if intended; better: 'spend time there'. Suggestion: separate ideas with punctuation, correct pronoun/object use, and choose consistent tense.

× So it's not important to uh, referring a main or a particular one.

✓ So it's not important to refer to a main or particular one.

The original uses the gerund 'referring' incorrectly after 'important to' (should be base verb 'refer'), and misuses prepositions. Use the infinitive 'to refer' and include 'to' after 'refer' when needed? Here 'refer to a main or particular one' or simply 'refer to a particular one'. Suggestion: use correct verb form after 'important to' and the proper preposition 'to' with 'refer'.