Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct grammar (use plural 'parks' and 'the park' appropriately). Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Reduce hesitations and filler words (uh, um).

예시: Yes, I enjoyed going to parks as a child. There were only a few parks near my home, so my friends and I often played football or other games in the open fields after school.

제안: Correct grammar (use 'there are lots of parks', 'I like to go to parks', and avoid repeating 'now'). Give a short main statement then one specific reason or example. Link ideas using words like 'because' or 'so'.

예시: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because I live in Dhaka and there are many parks in Sector 10. I often spend my free time there chatting with colleagues or taking short walks.

제안: Organize the response: state your opinion, then give clear reasons with specific details. Avoid long pauses and unfinished sentences. Use linking words like 'because' and 'for example' and correct phrases such as 'harmful to their mental and physical health' and 'create more parks' instead of 'move parks'.

예시: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because children spend too much time on mobile phones these days. More parks would give them a safe place to play and improve their physical and mental health.

제안: Give a clear topic sentence with correct park name and grammar (e.g., 'I would like to visit Jamuna Future Park'). Provide one or two specific reasons and avoid redundant phrases. Use linking words like 'because' and 'so'.

예시: I would like to visit Jamuna Future Park in Dhaka because it has many rides and attractions for all ages. I hope to go there with my friends since we have not met for a long time.

× Umm, yes, I liked going to park as a child, although there was a limited number of parks so that, uh, I played, uh, games or, uh, played football in open field with my school friends.

✓ Umm, yes, I liked going to the park as a child, although there were a limited number of parks, so I played games or played football in the open field with my school friends.

Use of articles: 'park' needs the definite article 'the' when referring to parks in general childhood context; 'there was a limited number' should be 'there were' to agree with plural 'parks' (subject-verb agreement, see ID 27); add 'the' before 'open field' to specify the place; remove filler words and correct punctuation for clarity. Suggestion: include appropriate articles ('a'/'the') and ensure subject-verb agreement for plural nouns.

× Yes, I still like to go into parks now because now I'm staying in Dhaka and there is lots of parks in the Sector 10. And yes, my leisure time, I would like to go parks and spend time with my colleagues.

✓ Yes, I still like to go to parks now because I'm staying in Dhaka and there are lots of parks in Sector 10. At leisure, I like to go to parks and spend time with my colleagues.

Multiple errors: 'there is lots of parks' should be 'there are lots of parks' (subject-verb agreement for plural 'parks'); 'go into parks' is unnatural—use 'go to parks'; 'my leisure time, I would like to go parks' is ungrammatical—use 'At leisure, I like to go to parks' or 'In my free time, I like to go to parks.' Suggestion: use correct verb agreement with plural subjects and natural prepositions ('go to').

× Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city, uh, as, uh, young children, uh, like to use mobile phone, uh, nowadays, but uh, this is, and this is very dangerous for their, uh, mental and physical health, uh, for their. So I'd like to move parks in my city for the refreshment and.

✓ Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because young children nowadays like to use mobile phones, which is very dangerous for their mental and physical health. So I'd like to have more parks in my city for recreation.

Sentence structure and usage issues: 'as... like to use mobile phone nowadays' needs smoothing and plural 'mobile phones'; 'this is, and this is' is redundant; 'dangerous for their mental and physical health, for their.' is incomplete and repetitive; 'move parks' is incorrect—use 'have more parks' or 'create more parks'; 'refreshment' is better expressed as 'recreation.' Suggestion: combine clauses clearly, use plural nouns when appropriate, avoid repetition, and choose correct verbs ('have'/'create').

× I want to go to in Jonah Future Park in Dhaka because there are many rides for young and older people and I would like to go there with my friends as I cannot see them for a long time. That's why I want to go in.

✓ I want to go to Jamuna Future Park in Dhaka because there are many rides for young and older people, and I would like to go there with my friends since I have not seen them for a long time. That's why I want to go.

Article and preposition issues: 'go to in Jonah Future Park' has an extra preposition—use 'go to Jamuna Future Park'; corrected park name assumed as Jamuna; 'cannot see them for a long time' should be 'have not seen them for a long time' (present perfect to express an action continuing up to now); 'That's why I want to go in.' should be 'That's why I want to go.' Suggestion: remove extra prepositions, use proper tense (present perfect) for ongoing time references, and use correct park name and spelling.