Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: 回答は内容が伝わるが、文法ミスと冗長さがあり、論理のつながりが不自然です。まず冒頭で簡潔に肯定の主文を述べ、その後具体例（誰と何をしたか、どれくらいの頻度か）を付けます。接続詞や時制に注意し、繰り返しや不要なフレーズ（"whenever the time I don't have any video games in my home"など）を省きましょう。文は3文以内にまとめ、比較をするなら明確に述べます。例："I used to enjoy going to the park as a child. I often went with my brother to play soccer, although I actually preferred playing basketball."

예시: Yes, I enjoyed going to the park as a child. I often went there with my brother to play soccer, but to be honest, I preferred playing basketball. Those visits were my main pastime when I couldn’t play video games at home.

제안: 回答は意味が伝わるが、口語的すぎる表現と文の断片が見られます（"Makes me feel relaxing"など）。まず簡潔な主文で立場を示し、理由を1つか2つ具体的に述べます。自然を表す表現は"a feeling of being close to nature"など正しい形で。文は完全な文章にすること。

예시: Not really, but I sometimes go to the park with my girlfriend because being outdoors gives me a feeling of closeness to nature. It also helps me relax and makes it easier to have a long conversation with her.

제안: 意図は明確だが文法と語順の誤り（"I can't think trees"など）や語彙の不適切さがあるため、より正確な表現を使いましょう。まず肯定の主文、次に理由を具体的に述べ、対比表現（industrial areas vs green spaces）を用いると説得力が増します。

예시: Yes, I would. My town has many industrial areas, so I miss green spaces where I can walk among trees and relax. More parks would make the city much more pleasant.

제안: 答えが混乱しています。"Yes, I have"は不自然で、過去と未来が混在しています。まず行きたいかどうかを明確に答え、どの公園か、その理由（景色、施設など）、過去の訪問経験と今後の希望を整理して述べましょう。最後の文は論理が不明瞭なので再構成が必要です。

예시: Yes, there is a park in Takasaki City that I want to visit again. I went there once with friends and found it very beautiful, especially the scenery, so I hope to go back to enjoy the sights once more.

× Yes, I used to really enjoy going to the park whenever the time I don't have any video games in my home, so I went to the park with my brother to play soccer.

✓ Yes, I used to really enjoy going to the park whenever I didn't have any video games at home, so I went to the park with my brother to play soccer.

The sentence mixes tenses and contains incorrect phrase 'whenever the time I don't have'. Use past tense 'didn't have' to match 'used to' and simplify to 'whenever I didn't have any video games at home.' Also change 'in my home' to the more natural 'at home.' This keeps consistent past habitual meaning. Suggestion: Use consistent past tense for past habits: 'I used to... whenever I didn't have... at home.'

× I but I prefer to play basketball than soccer.

✓ But I prefer to play basketball to soccer.

When expressing preference between two items, use 'prefer A to B' rather than 'prefer A than B.' Alternatively, say 'I prefer basketball to soccer' or 'I prefer playing basketball rather than soccer.' Suggestion: Use 'prefer A to B' or 'prefer A rather than B.'

× Well, not really, but sometimes I go to the park with my girlfriend because it's the natural nature feel.

✓ Well, not really, but sometimes I go to the park with my girlfriend because it has a natural feel.

The phrase 'the natural nature feel' is ungrammatical and redundant. Use 'has a natural feel' to describe atmosphere. Also 'it' refers to 'the park.' Suggestion: Simplify and avoid repetition: 'the park has a natural feel.'

× Makes me feel relaxing and easy to talk with her.

✓ It makes me feel relaxed and makes it easy to talk with her.

'Relaxing' is an adjective meaning causing relaxation; the correct state here is 'relaxed.' Also the original fragment lacks a subject; add 'It' and separate into two clauses for clarity: 'It makes me feel relaxed and makes it easy to talk with her.' Suggestion: Use 'feel relaxed' for personal feeling and ensure sentence has a subject and verb.

× Yes I would because in my town there are many industrial areas so I can't think trees and walking around to relax.

✓ Yes, I would, because in my town there are many industrial areas so I can't find trees or places to walk around to relax.

The phrase 'I can't think trees' is incorrect; likely intended 'can't find trees.' Also add 'places' to clarify walking areas and use 'or' between alternatives. Maintain present tense. Suggestion: Use 'can't find' for absence and add nouns like 'places' for clarity.

× Yes, I have. It's in Takasaki City and I have been to there once with my friends.

✓ Yes, I have. It's in Takasaki City and I have been there once with my friends.

The phrase 'been to there' incorrectly combines 'to' with 'there.' Use 'been there' or 'gone to' + place. Keep present perfect 'have been' to indicate experience. Suggestion: Use 'been there' or 'gone to Takasaki City.'

× It's really beautiful and I won't go there again, especially the sightseeing is.

✓ It's really beautiful and I want to go there again, especially for the sightseeing.

The original 'I won't go there again' contradicts context (student likely intends to express desire to return). 'Especially the sightseeing is' is incomplete; use 'especially for the sightseeing' to indicate reason. Match tense to intention (future desire) with 'want to go' or 'would like to go again.' Suggestion: Use 'want to go there again' or 'would like to visit again, especially for the sightseeing.'