Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be direct with a clear topic sentence, correct tense and grammar, avoid repetition, and use one or two specific supporting details linked with a connector. Keep to under five sentences.

예시: Yes. I loved going to parks as a child because they were a place to play with friends and family. For example, the playground in my subdivision was only about 500 meters from our house, so we visited almost every weekend to play on the swings and climb the slides.

제안: Use present tense consistently, make a clear topic sentence, reduce fillers, and link reasons with a connector. Give a specific example of an activity to illustrate how parks help bonding.

예시: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks, especially when my children come with me. For example, we often play ball or have a picnic there, which helps us relax and strengthen our bond.

제안: Give a concise opinion sentence, use correct conditional structure (If + present, will...), avoid repetition, and provide one specific benefit with a linking word.

예시: Absolutely. If the city builds more parks, it will attract families and tourists, and children will have more opportunities to play outside and socialize with others.

제안: Answer directly naming the place, use correct conditional and noun choices, avoid repeating words, and give one short reason with a linking word. Keep sentences natural and grammatical.

예시: I would like to visit Disneyland in the future because it has been my dream since childhood and the park looks magical. For instance, I want to see the parades and themed attractions with my family.

× When I was younger, I love spending quality time with my friends and family in the park.

✓ When I was younger, I loved spending quality time with my friends and family in the park.

The time marker 'When I was younger' places the action in the past, so the verb should be in the past tense ('loved') rather than present ('love'). Use past tense consistently for past time references.

× One of my favorite playground was it located inside my subdivision.

✓ One of my favorite playgrounds was located inside my subdivision.

'One of my favorite' requires a plural noun after it ('playgrounds'), and the clause should not include the extra pronoun 'it'. The correct structure is 'One of my favorite playgrounds was located...'.

× It was only about 500 meters away from our from our house, so it's not difficult to visit.

✓ It was only about 500 meters from our house, so it wasn't difficult to visit.

Avoid the duplicated phrase 'from our'. Use either 'away from' or simply 'from'; 'about 500 meters from our house' is natural. Also maintain past tense ('wasn't') to match earlier past context.

× Definitely one of my favorite pastime nowadays was visiting the parks, especially if my children is coming with me.

✓ Definitely one of my favorite pastimes nowadays is visiting parks, especially if my children come with me.

'One of' requires a plural noun ('pastimes'). The time adverb 'nowadays' calls for present tense ('is' and 'come') rather than past. Use 'children come' (plural subject) not 'children is'.

× I like spending time with my children. Umm in order for us to have quality time as well as in in increase our bonds going to the park.

✓ I like spending time with my children. In order for us to have quality time and increase our bonds, we go to the park.

Sentence had word order and redundancy issues. Use 'in order for us to' followed by purpose and a main clause. Replace 'in in increase' with 'increase' and add a subject and verb ('we go') to complete the sentence.

× If more parks will be built in my city, more and more tourists will be attracted as well as families to spend quality time outdoors.

✓ If more parks are built in my city, more tourists and families will be attracted to spend quality time outdoors.

In conditional 'if' clauses, use present simple ('are built') for real future conditions rather than 'will'. Also adjust word order: 'tourists and families' and 'attracted to spend' is natural.

× This will encourage children to go outside, socialize with other children, helping them de develop quality, uh, quality time with them as well.

✓ This will encourage children to go outside and socialize with other children, helping them develop quality time together.

Remove redundant pronouns and filler words. Use parallel structure 'go outside and socialize' and correct infinitive 'helping them develop' (no extra 'de'). 'Together' is clearer than 'with them as well'.

× If I will be given the chance to visit Disneyland, I would really love to.

✓ If I were given the chance to visit Disneyland, I would really love to go.

For unreal or hypothetical conditionals about the future, use subjunctive 'If I were given...' and 'would' in the main clause. 'I would really love to go' completes the idea. Avoid 'If I will be given'.

× This is one of my dream country or dream place to visit since I was a child.

✓ This is one of my dream places to visit since I was a child.

Use plural 'places' after 'one of my', and 'dream country or dream place' is redundant. 'One of my dream places' is concise and grammatically correct.

× I love to visit this place because the view was so was so magical and fantastic.

✓ I loved visiting this place because the view was so magical and fantastic.

Maintain past tense 'loved' to match 'was' when speaking about childhood experiences. Also remove duplicated 'was so'. Use 'loved visiting' for natural phrasing.