Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct grammar: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition, and use past tense consistently. Add one brief supporting detail with a linking word. Also correct collocations (say “go to the park,” “made me happy”).

예시: Yes, I loved going to the park as a child. It made me very happy, especially when I visited with my family, because we played games and had picnics together.

제안: Use correct tense and word forms, and be specific about how your preferences changed. Begin with a topic sentence, then explain the change with a linking word (e.g., "but" or "however").

예시: Yes, I still enjoy parks, but my preference has changed. Now I prefer camping areas because I like outdoor activities like hiking and sleeping in a tent.

제안: Make your point clear and avoid vague phrasing. Start with a direct answer, then give one clear reason using linking words (e.g., "because"), and use correct vocabulary and grammar ("parks", "exciting").

예시: Yes, I would like more parks in my city because they offer children a healthy and exciting place to play. For example, parks let kids socialize and exercise instead of spending time on gadgets.

제안: Answer directly and give a specific plan or example. Use correct grammar and complete sentences, and include a linking word (e.g., "because" or "so that"). Avoid trailing off—finish the thought with a clear result.

예시: Yes, I plan to visit several local parks soon because they encourage my children to play with friends and be active, which is healthier than letting them use electronic gadgets all the time.

× Yes, when I was a child, I always wanted to go to park because it gives me happiness and joyful, especially when I when when I was with my family.

✓ Yes, when I was a child, I always wanted to go to the park because it gave me happiness and joy, especially when I was with my family.

Errors: missing definite article before 'park' (use 'the park' for a specific place type), incorrect present tense 'gives' (should match past context 'when I was a child') and awkward adjective 'joyful' used as a noun. Suggestion: use 'the park', change present tense verbs to past when describing past habits (gives -> gave), and use the noun 'joy' rather than the adjective 'joyful'. Also remove repeated words and extra filler.

× Even though I already adult, I always wanted to go to park. However, I upgraded because what I wanted to do now is go to the camping area.

✓ Even though I am already an adult, I still want to go to the park. However, my preference has changed because now I want to go to the camping area.

Errors: missing copula and article in 'I already adult' (should be 'I am already an adult') and tense inconsistency ('always wanted' implies past; speaker refers to present so use 'still want' or 'always want'). Missing definite article before 'park'. 'Upgraded' is inappropriate verb choice; use 'my preference has changed' or 'I've shifted my interest'. Suggestion: use correct verb 'be' with articles, maintain consistent present tense for current preferences, and choose appropriate verbs for change of preference.

× Yes, I would like to see more parts in our city because nowadays in the future in technology, it is better to have a give children a better way of excite excitement, like going to park so that they can play with their friends.

✓ Yes, I would like to see more parks in our city because with modern technology it is better to give children better ways to be excited, like going to the park so that they can play with their friends.

Errors: 'parts' should be 'parks' (wrong word), awkward phrase 'nowadays in the future in technology' — choose one temporal phrase; 'have a give' is ungrammatical; 'a better way of excite excitement' is incorrect word forms. Suggestions: use 'with modern technology' or 'in modern times', use 'give children better ways to be excited' or 'provide children with enjoyable activities', and include 'the' before 'park' when speaking generally about parks in the city.

× Yes, I would go to the parks in near future because it encourage my children to have a play with their friends rather than giving them a gadget to play so that they.

✓ Yes, I will go to the parks in the near future because it encourages my children to play with their friends rather than giving them a gadget to play with.

Errors: missing article 'the' in 'in near future' (should be 'in the near future'); tense/modal: use 'will' for future intention; subject-verb agreement 'it encourage' should be 'it encourages'; 'have a play' is unnatural — use 'play'; missing preposition 'with' after 'play' and sentence ended abruptly 'so that they' — removed or completed. Suggestions: use 'will' for future plans, ensure subject-verb agreement with '-s' for singular subjects, use natural collocations like 'play with their friends', and include necessary articles and prepositions.