Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and avoid repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Pay attention to verb forms and article use (e.g., “a little puppy,” “practiced my frisbee skills”), and reduce filler like “uh.”

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I often took my little puppy for walks there, which relaxed me and made me happy, and I practiced playing frisbee with him, which improved my coordination.

제안: Provide a clear topic sentence and use correct grammar (subject-verb agreement, articles). Use linking words to connect ideas (e.g., “however,” “so”) and be specific about activities. Avoid unnecessary modal phrasing like “even can.”

예시: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because the trees and greenery help me relax. However, I have less free time now, so I usually visit a nearby park on weekends or evenings to walk or play football with friends.

제안: Organize the answer: state your opinion, then give two clear reasons with linking words. Correct vocabulary and grammar (e.g., “reduce air pollution,” “provide a relaxing place,” “after a busy day”). Avoid fillers and unclear phrases like “on wind.”

예시: Yes, I would. More parks would help reduce air pollution and make city life healthier. In addition, they provide relaxing places to exercise or unwind after a busy day.

제안: Be specific and avoid repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence naming the type of park (e.g., “a nature reserve”). Use correct nouns and remove repeated words (“nature nature”). Give one or two concise reasons with linking words.

예시: Yes, I would love to visit a nature reserve that has wild animals. I find it magical to see wildlife in their habitat, and it would be a great chance to learn about ecosystems and take nature photos.

× because it helps me relax and give me happiness.

✓ because it helped me relax and made me happy.

The student is talking about childhood memories (past), so verbs should be in the past tense. 'helps' (present) should be 'helped', and 'give me happiness' is unnatural; use 'made me happy' for correct past meaning and natural phrasing.

× I also used to play frisbee with him, which practice my skill of this kind of sport, which has a lot of fun too.

✓ I also used to play frisbee with him, which helped me practise my skills in this kind of sport and was a lot of fun too.

After 'which' referring to the activity, use past tense verb 'helped' not base form 'practice'. 'Practise' takes an object ('my skills') and 'has a lot of fun' is incorrect; use 'was a lot of fun'. Ensure past tense consistency.

× because seeing trees and greenery help me relax and take a break from my busy schedule.

✓ because seeing trees and greenery helps me relax and take a break from my busy schedule.

Subject 'seeing trees and greenery' is a singular gerund phrase, so it requires the singular verb 'helps' (subject-verb agreement). Keep present tense here because the student is describing a current habit.

× And sometimes I even can play other kind of sports with my friends there.

✓ And sometimes I can even play other kinds of sports with my friends there.

Modal placement and word order: 'can even' is more natural as 'can even'. 'Other kind of sports' is ungrammatical: use plural 'other kinds of sports' or 'other sports'. Keep 'can' for ability.

× I think more parks and green spaces would help reduce air pollution, which means uh reduce and make city life healthier.

✓ I think more parks and green spaces would help reduce air pollution, which would make city life healthier.

The relative clause should be parallel and use modal 'would' to match 'would help'. 'Reduce and make' is ungrammatical; use 'would make' to show result. Remove filler 'uh' in formal answer.

× They also proved a relaxing place to exercise or on wind after busy day.

✓ They also provide a relaxing place to exercise or unwind after a busy day.

'Proved' is wrong tense/word — use 'provide'. 'On wind' is incorrect; the intended verb is 'unwind'. Add articles: 'a busy day'. Keep present tense general statement.

× So I'd welcome more parks in my city.

✓ So I'd welcome more parks in my city.

Sentence is grammatically correct; it matches context and needs no change. (Included for completeness.)

× Like those kind of parts that contain wild animals, uh, which called natural nature natural park because I think that's kind of magical because I can meet wildlife animals there and I can enjoy how the nature truly seems like.

✓ I would like to visit parks that contain wild animals, such as natural parks, because I think they are magical: I could see wildlife there and enjoy nature as it really is.

This original sentence has many issues: 'parts' should be 'parks'; 'which called natural nature natural park' is ungrammatical — use 'such as natural parks' or 'which are called natural parks'. Use conditional/modal 'would like' for future preference. 'Meet wildlife animals' is awkward — use 'see wildlife' or 'encounter wildlife'. 'Enjoy how the nature truly seems like' is incorrect word order and extra 'like'; use 'enjoy nature as it really is'. Remove filler 'uh' and simplify for clarity.