Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Make the response more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid redundancy (e.g., “one of the memorable memories”), and add a brief specific detail using a linking word. Keep it within 2–4 sentences.

예시: Yes, I loved going to the local parks with my older brother. We often played baseball together, which remains one of my fondest childhood memories because we spent hours practicing and getting to know the other kids in the neighborhood.

제안: Improve fluency and natural phrasing by using correct articles and smoother linking words. Combine sentences to avoid repetition and be slightly more specific about activities or frequency.

예시: Yes, I still enjoy going to the nearby parks whenever I have the chance. Walking among the trees helps me relax and recharge, and I often spend 20–30 minutes there after work to clear my mind.

제안: Be more concise and avoid repeating ideas. Offer one clear reason and a specific example or result. Use linking words (for example, therefore) to show cause and effect.

예시: Yes, I would — the city has few green spaces at the moment, so adding parks would improve residents’ quality of life. For example, more parks would provide safe places for children to play and encourage neighborhood gatherings, making the area livelier.

제안: This answer is clear and specific; to be more natural, tighten phrasing and use a linking word to connect interest in history and outdoor time. Mention a concrete feature you want to see to add specificity.

예시: Yes, I’d love to visit a well-known national memorial park in Osaka Prefecture. It was established about 20 years ago, and I’m keen to see its historical monuments and wide green spaces because I enjoy both history and relaxing walks in nature.

× Yes, when I was a child I enjoyed going to the parks in the vicinity of my house with my elder sibling.

✓ Yes, when I was a child I enjoyed going to the parks in the vicinity of my house with my elder sibling.

No correction needed for plurality here; 'parks' and 'sibling' are grammatically acceptable. Keep plural 'parks' if there were multiple nearby. This entry is included to show no change is required.

× There I played baseball with him, which is a one of the memorable memories from childhood.

✓ There I played baseball with him, which is one of the most memorable memories from my childhood.

The phrase 'a one of the' is ungrammatical; use 'one of the' followed by a superlative or ordinal when emphasizing. Also add 'most' to indicate highest degree and include the possessive 'my' before 'childhood' for clarity.

× When I have chance, I try to go to parks near my house in order to get relaxed.

✓ When I have the chance, I try to go to parks near my house in order to relax.

Missing article: 'the chance' is the correct idiom. 'Get relaxed' is unnatural; use the base verb 'relax' after 'in order to'. This corrects collocation and article use.

× There are trees in the park, so walking among the trees will make me refreshed and energized.

✓ There are trees in the park, so walking among them will make me feel refreshed and energized.

Pronoun 'them' is more natural than repeating 'the trees'. 'Make me refreshed' is awkward; use 'make me feel refreshed' to express the resulting state.

× Yes, I'd like to see more parks in my city because currently the number of parks is limited.

✓ Yes, I'd like to see more parks in my city because currently the number of parks is limited.

Sentence is grammatically correct regarding singular/plural. 'Number of parks is limited' is acceptable. No change needed.

× The more parks the city has, the more lively the environment becomes because we can see more children playing in that park.

✓ The more parks the city has, the more lively the environment becomes because we can see more children playing in the parks.

Pronoun 'that park' incorrectly refers to a single park while the sentence discusses parks in general. Use 'the parks' to maintain plural reference and agreement with the earlier clause.

× Yes, I'd love to visit a famous park in Osaka Prefecture.

✓ Yes, I'd love to visit a famous park in Osaka Prefecture.

This sentence is correct: 'I'd love to' expresses a present desire about a future action. No change needed.

× It was built about 20 years ago as a National Memorial park, and I'm interested in seeing its monuments and green spaces because I enjoy learning about history and spending time outdoors.

✓ It was built about 20 years ago as a national memorial park, and I'm interested in seeing its monuments and green spaces because I enjoy learning about history and spending time outdoors.

Capitalization: 'national memorial park' should not be fully capitalized unless it's the official name. Grammar is otherwise correct: 'was built' (past passive) and 'I'm interested in seeing' (present) are appropriate. No change to verb forms needed.