Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be direct, correct tense and reduce repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence in past tense, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct grammar (past tense, articles, plurals) and avoid repeating phrases.

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. My grandma often took me there to play on the swings with other children, which helped me relax after school. Because of those visits, I still have many happy memories and photos from that time.

제안: Be concise and avoid repeating the same phrase. Use correct grammar (countable nouns, articles, verb forms) and add a linking word to connect ideas. Give one concrete example and one clear reason.

예시: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because they are peaceful and good for exercise. For example, I visit the park near my home on weekends to jog and clear my mind, which helps me feel relaxed for the week ahead.

제안: Organize your answer: give a direct yes/no, then two specific reasons using linking words. Fix grammar (articles, plurals, word order) and avoid unclear phrases. Mention concrete benefits and a short example to support your point.

예시: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they provide green space and improve air quality. For instance, new neighborhood parks would encourage people to walk or jog regularly and spend more time outdoors, which benefits public health.

제안: Answer directly and use correct future phrasing. Be specific about which park or experience and use linking words to explain reasons. Correct sentence structure and avoid fragmented endings.

예시: Yes, I would love to visit a national park in Japan in the future because I want to see the cherry blossoms and enjoy the fresh, cool air. For example, I imagine spending a day there with friends, drinking matcha and eating cookies while walking beneath the blooming trees.

× Yes I enjoy going to park when I was a child because my grandma allows me to play with other kids in swing.

✓ Yes, I enjoyed going to the park when I was a child because my grandma allowed me to play with other kids on the swings.

Tense consistency: the sentence refers to childhood (past), so verbs should be past tense (enjoyed, allowed). Article and noun form: 'park' needs the article 'the' and 'swing' should be plural 'swings' with preposition 'on'. Use commas for clarity.

× I enjoy having in the in the park because it allow me to really stress from my schoolwork way back when I was a child and I do have some memories and picture on it.

✓ I enjoyed being in the park because it helped me relieve stress from my schoolwork when I was a child, and I have some memories and pictures of it.

Use past tense for past situation: 'enjoyed' and 'helped' instead of present. 'Having in the park' is incorrect; use 'being in the park'. 'Relieve stress' is correct expression. Use plural 'pictures' and preposition 'of' for memories/pictures related to the park.

× Yes, I still like the idea of going to the park.

✓ Yes, I still like the idea of going to the park.

No grammatical correction needed; sentence correctly uses present tense for a current preference.

× They are peaceful and a good for exercise and also I can relieve my mind.

✓ Parks are peaceful and good for exercise, and they also help me relax.

Pronoun/reference: 'They' should clearly refer to 'parks'; better to use 'Parks'. Article error: remove 'a' before 'good'. 'Relieve my mind' is unnatural; use 'help me relax'. Verb agreement: 'help' matches plural subject.

× For example I visit the park near my home in the weekend so that it near in the house and also it give me a Peace of Mind.

✓ For example, I visit the park near my home on the weekend because it is close to my house, and it gives me peace of mind.

Preposition: use 'on the weekend'. Verb tense and agreement: 'visit' can be present simple for habitual action — keep it, but 'it near in the house' is incorrect; change to 'it is close to my house'. 'Give' -> 'gives' to agree with singular subject 'it'. 'Peace of Mind' should be lowercase 'peace of mind'.

× Yes, I would like I already explored the tree park here in the cities and also I really like the idea of going the park because it's green space.

✓ Yes, I would like more parks. I have already explored the tree park here in the city, and I like the idea of going to parks because they are green spaces.

Sentence structure: original mixes two ideas; separate sentences for clarity. Number and article: 'cities' should be 'city' if referring to one city; 'tree park' unclear but kept; 'going the park' requires 'going to parks'. Agreement: plural 'green spaces' to match general idea.

× I really like the idea of go for a walking or jogging.

✓ I really like the idea of going for a walk or going jogging.

Use gerund 'going' after 'like the idea of'. 'a walking' is incorrect; use 'a walk'. 'Jogging' is fine with 'going' or as 'jogging' alone (I like walking or jogging).

× That's why I also like to improve air quality, spending time outside and neighborhood park.

✓ That's why I also support improving air quality, spending time outside, and having neighborhood parks.

Parallel structure: make list items parallel verbs/nouns. 'Like to improve air quality' is odd; 'support improving' or 'value' is better. 'Neighborhood park' should be pluralized or preceded by 'having' to fit the list.

× Yes, I like the idea of going to the visit National Park in Japan because it can you can see it cherry blossom glowing on the air was cold and fresh.

✓ Yes, I would like to visit a national park in Japan because you can see cherry blossoms there and the air is cold and fresh.

Modal/future: use 'would like to visit' for future desire. Remove redundant 'it can you can'. Article and noun: 'National Park' -> 'a national park' unless specific. 'Cherry blossom' -> 'cherry blossoms'. Word order and tense: 'air was cold and fresh' should be present descriptive 'air is cold and fresh' when describing what one can expect.

× For example, having there with my friends drinking matcha with cookies.

✓ For example, I could be there with my friends, drinking matcha and eating cookies.

Sentence fragment: original lacks subject and verb. Make it a full clause: 'I could be there with my friends'. Use parallel verbs 'drinking matcha and eating cookies'.

× I really like the.

✓ I really like that.

Incomplete sentence: 'I really like the.' is a fragment. Replace with 'I really like that' or complete thought describing what is liked.