Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: 返答の流れは良いですが、文法エラー、冗長表現、語順の問題、及び不完全な文があります。まず現在形と過去形の混在（"I love" と "When I was a child I used to"）を整理し、過去の習慣は過去形で統一しましょう。また、具体的な描写（どんな遊びをしたか、誰と行ったか）を一つか二つの短い文で明確に述べ、最後にまとめの一文で締めるとよいです。接続詞（for example, and, so）や句読点を使い、情報が論理的に繋がるようにしてください。

예시: Yes, I did. When I was a child I used to visit the park near my house almost every day with my friends. We often played on the swings and climbed the trees, and we talked and laughed a lot. Those visits were my favorite part of the week because I felt free and happy.

제안: 答えは直接的で意味は伝わりますが、いくつか改善点があります。定冠詞や語順の誤り（"the A park"）、句の区切りが不足しているため読みづらいです。まず短く主題文を言い、その後に理由を述べる際は接続詞（because, as, because of）や句読点で区切り、具体的な活動（what you do in the park）を一つか二つ挙げてください。語彙はシンプルで構いませんが正確さを重視しましょう。

예시: Yes, I do. Although I don't visit the local park regularly, I still enjoy going there to relax in nature. I like sitting on a bench and listening to music while watching people and birds.

제안: 回答は明確で具体的な理由（既に十分ある）を示しており、良い構成です。改善点は流れをより自然にするための表現のつなぎ方と語彙のバリエーションです。例えば "Actually" の代わりに "Not really" や "I don't think so" を使い、二つ目の文を接続詞で繋げると会話が滑らかになります。また最後の感情表現は簡潔にまとめましょう。

예시: I don't think so, because there are already plenty of parks in Vancouver. In fact, there are three parks near my house, so I can easily go for a walk. Having nearby parks makes me feel refreshed and relaxed.

제안: 返答は意図は伝わるものの、繰り返し、話し言葉のスラング（"wanna"）、文の未完結、時制の混乱が目立ちます。まず肯定の短い主題文を作り、その後で過去に行ったことと再訪したい理由を一貫した時制で説明してください。繰り返しを避け、フォーマルな表現（want to, would like to）を使うと好印象です。最後に具体的にどの公園か、または何をしたいか一つ付け加えましょう。

예시: Yes, there is one I want to visit again. I went to that park often when I was a child, but it has been many years since my last visit. I would like to go back to see how it has changed and to relive some childhood memories.

× When I was a child I used to go to the park near my house almost every day with my friends where we often play the swing and talked a lot.

✓ When I was a child I used to go to the park near my house almost every day with my friends where we often played on the swings and talked a lot.

動詞の時制と形式の誤りがあります。過去の習慣について述べているため動詞は過去形（played）が必要です。また 'play the swing' は不自然で正しくは 'play on the swings' または 'swing' を使います。改善のため、過去の出来事には一貫して過去形を使い、可算名詞に適切な前置詞（on）を付けます。

× We so the park was my most.

✓ So the park was my favourite place.

文構造が不完全で意味が不明確です。'We so the park was my most' は文法的に成立していません。意図は『そのためその公園が一番好きだった』と思われるため、'So the park was my favourite place.' のように主語+動詞+補語の構造に直します。

× Yes I do, although I don't go to the A park regularly I still enjoy going there to be in nature, listen to music.

✓ Yes I do, although I don't go to parks regularly I still enjoy going there to be in nature and listen to music.

不定冠詞の誤用と句の並列の問題があります。'the A park' は誤りで、一般的に複数形の 'parks' または特定の1つを指すなら 'the park' を用います。さらに 'to be in nature, listen to music' は不自然な並列なので 'to be in nature and listen to music' と接続詞でつなぎます。

× Actually, I don't think so, because there are already enough parks in Vancouver.

✓ Actually, I don't think so, because there are already enough parks in Vancouver.

文自体は時制に合っており正しいため修正不要です。ただし口語表現の 'I don't think so' は文脈上問題ありません。

× Even around my house there are three parks nearby.

✓ There are even three parks near my house.

語順と冗長表現の問題です。'around my house' と 'nearby' は同義で重複しています。自然な語順にし 'there are even three parks near my house' のようにします。

× Yes, but actually I have been there when I was a child, but it's been a long time since I last went there.

✓ Yes, but actually I went there when I was a child; it's been a long time since I last went there.

現在完了と過去形の混同があります。'I have been there when I was a child' は不適切で、過去の具体的な時点（when I was a child）には単純過去を使います。従って 'I went there when I was a child' とし、後半の 'it's been a long time since I last went there' は問題ありません。

× So I wanna, I wanna, I'd like to visit there again to.

✓ So I want to visit there again.

口語縮約と冗長表現、語尾の不必要な 'to' の誤りがあります。'wanna' は会話表現で正式な書き言葉・面接では 'want to' または 'would like to' を使います。また 'visit there' より自然なのは 'visit it again' ですが 'visit there again' でも許容されます。繰り返しを削除し、文末の不要な 'to' を取り除きます。