Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more grammatically accurate, reduce fillers (uh), and organize into a clear topic sentence with one or two supporting details. Use past tense consistently and give a specific memory or example to make your answer more vivid.

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks when I was a child. At that time phones were not common, so we spent hours running and playing on the green grass under the blue sky. For example, I remember playing tag with my friends every Saturday afternoon until sunset.

제안: Use present tense correctly and avoid pauses. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add two linked supporting points (reason and personal habit) with connectors like 'because' and 'so'.

예시: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because being close to nature helps me relax after hard work. Also, I often visit parks with my family, so we can spend quality time together and unwind.

제안: Give a concise topic sentence then support it with a specific reason and a consequence, using linking words ('because', 'so', 'therefore'). You can add a brief example or comparison to strengthen the point.

예시: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they would increase the number of trees and improve air quality. For instance, cities with many parks usually have cooler temperatures and cleaner air, which benefits everyone.

제안: Avoid fillers and expand slightly with specific details: mention why that place appeals to you (history, scenery, activities) and briefly summarize the story to show cultural interest. Keep it within 2–3 sentences.

예시: Yes, I would like to visit West Lake in Hangzhou because of its beautiful scenery and rich history. I am also curious about the local legend that involves a monster, and I would like to learn the story and see the historic sites related to it.

× Yes, I like going to parks when I was a child because the, uh, phone are not very popular at that time and I run later.

✓ Yes, I liked going to parks when I was a child because phones were not very popular then and I used to run around later.

Multiple issues: subject-verb tense consistency and plural/singular. 'When I was a child' sets past context so use past tense 'liked' (Present tense issue ID 6 -> Past tense issue ID 5). 'phone are' is wrong: 'phone' should be plural 'phones' and use past 'were' (Singular and plural issue ID 1 and Past tense issue ID 5). 'I run later' refers to habitual past action, so 'used to run around' or 'I would run around' is appropriate (Past tense issue ID 5). Suggestions: match verb tenses to time expressions, make nouns plural when referring generally, and use 'used to' for past habitual actions.

× I love the grass.

✓ I loved the grass.

Tense mismatch: context is childhood so past tense 'loved' is needed (Present tense issue ID 6 -> Past tense issue ID 5). If referring to present, keep 'I love the grass.' but here sentence follows 'when I was a child', so change to past.

× Uh, I love the green grass and blue sky and I can meet my friends.

✓ I loved the green grass and blue sky, and I could meet my friends.

Tense inconsistency: maintain past tense for childhood descriptions ('loved', 'could') (Present tense issue ID 6 -> Past tense issue ID 5). Also add a comma before 'and' for clarity. 'Can' indicates present ability; use 'could' for past.

× Yes, I like going to park because I think, uh, be close to nature can help me relax myself from my, uh, hard work And I often, uh, go park with my family so we can have a great time.

✓ Yes, I like going to parks because I think being close to nature helps me relax from my hard work, and I often go to the park with my family so we can have a great time.

Several errors: countable noun 'park' needs plural or article 'the park' depending on meaning (Singular and plural issue ID 1 and Article errors ID 22). 'be close to nature' should be 'being close to nature' (Verb + -ing form ID 8). 'can help me relax myself from my hard work' is awkward: use 'helps me relax from my hard work' and avoid reflexive 'myself' here (Incorrect reflexive pronoun use ID 15). Also verb agreement: 'being close... helps' (Present tense issue ID 6). Use 'go to the park' (preposition use ID 11). Suggestions: use gerunds after think, ensure correct articles and prepositions, and avoid unnecessary reflexive pronouns.

× Yes, I really want to see many parks in my city because if there are many parks means there will be many more trees, so the quality of the air will be improved.

✓ Yes, I really want to see more parks in my city because if there are more parks, there will be many more trees, so the air quality will improve.

Quantifier misuse: 'many parks' repeated awkwardly; use 'more parks' for comparative desire (Incorrect use of quantifiers ID 14). Sentence structure: 'if there are many parks means' is ungrammatical; insert comma and remove 'means' (Sentence structure errors ID 26). 'the quality of the air will be improved' is passive and wordy; use 'the air quality will improve' (Incorrect passive voice ID 21). Suggestions: use 'more' for comparison, correct conditional structure 'if... , there will...', and prefer active phrasing.

× Yes. I want to go to, uh, the Westlake in Hangzhou. It has a long history and there are also a story for it. Uh, it's about a monster.

✓ Yes. I want to go to West Lake in Hangzhou. It has a long history, and there is also a story about it. It's about a monster.

Article and name form: 'the Westlake' should be 'West Lake' (Article errors ID 22 and Incorrect order of adjectives ID 18). 'There are also a story for it' has subject-verb disagreement and wrong preposition: use 'there is also a story about it' (Subject-verb agreement ID 27 and Incorrect use of prepositions ID 11). 'It has a long history' is fine. Suggestions: use correct place names, match singular subjects with 'is', and use 'about' to indicate the topic of a story.