Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one specific reason and a brief example. Use correct grammar (e.g., past tense and articles) and avoid redundancy.

예시: Not really. I didn’t enjoy going to parks as a child because I tend to sweat a lot and felt uncomfortable outdoors. For example, during summer picnics I would leave early because of the heat.

제안: Clarify meaning and avoid unclear phrases. Use a direct topic sentence, give a clear reason, and one short supporting detail. Fix grammar and avoid ambiguous references (e.g., 'in Thai' is confusing here).

예시: Not really. I still avoid parks because I find outdoor activities tiring and hot. For instance, I prefer indoor gyms where conditions are controlled.

제안: This answer is generally good but needs more natural phrasing and a specific detail. Start with a direct sentence, use linking words, and give a concrete reason or example to support your view.

예시: Yes, I would. More parks would benefit people who enjoy outdoor exercise, such as runners and families with children. For example, a new neighborhood park would give residents a safe place to walk and do tai chi.

제안: Make your answer clearer and grammatical. Give a specific park or type of park, explain why you want to visit, and correct verbs and word choice (e.g., 'resist' is wrong). Keep to 2–3 sentences with a supporting detail.

예시: I'd like to visit Central Park in the USA. I saw it in films and photos and it looks beautiful and peaceful, so I hope to walk there someday and enjoy the scenery.

× No I didn't, I don't like the outdoor activities since I'm easily sweaty so I prefer to stay indoor.

✓ No, I didn't. I didn't like outdoor activities because I sweat easily, so I preferred to stay indoors.

The student mixes past and present tenses incorrectly. The question asks about childhood (past), so use past tense consistently: 'didn't like' and 'preferred'. 'I'm easily sweaty' is unnatural; use 'I sweat easily'. Use the adverbial form 'indoors' rather than 'indoor'. Suggestion: keep tense consistent with the time frame and use natural collocations (sweat easily, stay indoors).

× No, I don't. If I have to go to the park in Thai, I can say I don't really like it because it's very hard.

✓ No, I don't. If I have to go to the park in Thailand, I would say I don't really like it because it's very hot/hard work.

The sentence mixes modal forms and contains a location phrase error. 'In Thai' is incorrect for location; use 'in Thailand'. For hypothetical present situations, 'would say' is more natural than 'can say'. The reason 'it's very hard' is vague; choose clearer description like 'it's very hot' or 'it's hard work'. Suggestion: use correct country name, appropriate modal (would) for hypothetical statements, and precise adjectives for reasons.

× Yes, I think it's more beneficial for the most people who love outdoor activity, particularly who want to exercise outdoor.

✓ Yes, I think it's more beneficial for most people who love outdoor activities, particularly those who want to exercise outdoors.

'the most people' is incorrect; use 'most people'. 'Outdoor activity' should be plural 'outdoor activities'. Use 'those' to refer to people. 'Exercise outdoor' needs the adverb 'outdoors'. Suggestion: remove unnecessary 'the', pluralize nouns when referring generally, and use appropriate pronouns and adverb forms.

× I will say the park in USA. I saw it in the movie and I think the park is really nice and it seem a nice weather so I want to resist one day.

✓ I would say a park in the USA. I saw it in a movie and I think the park looks really nice and the weather seems pleasant, so I want to visit one day.

Multiple errors: use 'the USA' with article 'the'. For hypothetical preference 'I would say' fits better than 'I will say'. 'I saw it in the movie' needs an article 'a movie'. 'It seem a nice weather' has subject-verb agreement and article issues; use 'the weather seems pleasant' or 'it seems like nice weather'. 'Resist' is incorrect verb; correct is 'visit'. Suggestion: use correct articles ('a', 'the'), subject-verb agreement ('seems'), correct verb choice ('visit'), and natural phrases for future desire ('want to visit one day').