Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Give a direct answer first, then support it with one or two specific reasons. Your ideas are relevant, but the response contains a very long, repetitive sentence with several uses of “I feel like” and “because.” Use more natural expressions such as “preserve memories” instead of “keep it” and “everything” instead of “all the stuff.”

예시: Yes, I really enjoy taking pictures of different views. I’m not a professional photographer, but I’m developing it as a hobby because it allows me to preserve special memories. Whenever I look at those photos, I can remember exactly how beautiful the place was.

제안: State your preference clearly and compare the two options with balanced, specific reasons. The final sentence is incomplete, which makes the answer sound unfinished. Also, replace informal or vague phrases such as “rural area kind of person,” “actual air,” and “something very amazing” with more precise language, and use a linking word such as “however” to introduce the contrast.

예시: Honestly, I prefer a mixture of both. Rural areas appeal to me because they offer peaceful scenery, fresh air, and beautiful natural landscapes. However, I also enjoy urban views because modern architecture and city lights can be fascinating, especially at night.

제안: Your answer is direct and includes a relevant personal example, which makes it effective. Improve the grammar by saying “biased toward Austria” or “I’m partial to Austria,” and avoid repetition of “amazed,” “bedazzling,” and “amazing.” Combine the short sentences more smoothly and use precise vocabulary such as “stunning landscapes” or “impressive architecture.”

예시: I prefer views in other countries, especially Austria, because I visited there this summer. I was fascinated by its stunning landscapes and impressive architecture, so I took dozens of photos during the trip. Even now, my camera is full of pictures that remind me of the experience.

× Honestly, I'm a bit biased to Austria since I've been there this summer.

✓ Honestly, I'm a bit biased toward Austria because I went there this summer.

The adjective biased is normally followed by toward or in favor of, not to. Also, because I went there this summer uses the simple past for a completed event at a specific time. This makes the time relationship clearer.

× But there are other cities where the architecture and everything is so.

✓ However, there are other cities where the architecture and everything else is so impressive.

The original sentence is incomplete because so needs to be followed by an adjective or another complement. Adding impressive completes the sentence. Everything else is also more natural here because everything refers to the architecture and other features of the cities.

× Uh, till this day my camera is filled with pictures from that trip.

✓ Uh, to this day, my camera is filled with pictures from that trip.

The standard expression is to this day, meaning up to the present time. Till this day is not the usual expression in formal or natural English. A comma after the introductory phrase also improves readability.

× So yeah, another country.

✓ So, yeah, I prefer views in another country.

The original is a sentence fragment because it does not contain a subject and a finite verb. Adding I prefer makes the answer a complete sentence and directly answers the examiner's question.