Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Your answer is natural and relevant, but it's slightly long and has minor repetition ("record these moments" and "remind me of some beautiful memories"). To improve, start with a clear topic sentence, then give one specific supporting detail or short example. Use one linking phrase if you add extra information, and avoid repeating the same idea.

예시: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views. For example, I often photograph sunsets at the beach because the colors and atmosphere capture a special moment I can look back on. Additionally, these photos help me remember how I felt at that time.

제안: Your main idea is clear, but the answer includes redundancy ("quiet peace and peaceful surroundings") and an unfinished ending. To improve, give a concise topic sentence, one clear reason, and one brief illustrative detail. Use a linking word like "because" or "so" and finish the sentence cleanly.

예시: I prefer views in rural areas because they are quieter and less crowded than cities. For instance, I like walking through countryside fields in the morning since the fresh air and calm atmosphere help me relax.

제안: This answer is unclear and unfinished, with hesitations and repetition. To improve, choose a clear stance (either say you can't decide or explain why both are good), avoid filler words, and provide one concrete comparison or short example. Keep it to two or three sentences maximum.

예시: I find it hard to choose because views at home and abroad are very different. For example, at home I enjoy familiar landscapes and cultural scenes, while abroad I appreciate unusual architecture and new natural scenery, so both have their own appeal.

× Yeah, I definitely love taking pictures of different views because these pictures can help me record these moments and in the future it can remind me of some beautiful memories.

✓ Yeah, I definitely love taking pictures of different views because these pictures help me record moments and in the future they can remind me of beautiful memories.

Use consistent present simple tense for general truths and habits. 'Can help me record these moments' is wordy and uses 'these' unnecessarily; 'these pictures help me record moments' is clearer. Also use plural pronoun 'they' to refer back to 'pictures' rather than singular 'it'. This fixes present tense consistency and pronoun agreement.

× To be honest, I prefer views in rural areas because big cities are often noisy and crowded, but rural places often always offer us some quiet peace and peaceful surroundings, and it's really a great escape from.

✓ To be honest, I prefer views in rural areas because big cities are often noisy and crowded, while rural places usually offer quiet, peaceful surroundings and are a great escape.

Combine contrasting clauses with 'while' instead of using both 'because' and 'but' awkwardly. Remove redundant words ('often always', 'quiet peace and peaceful surroundings') and complete the final clause ('escape from' is incomplete). Also adjust verb forms for parallel structure: 'offer' and 'are'.

× I can't, I can't say which one do I like most because I think uh, views in, in my own country and in other there there are many differences between views in my country and other countries.

✓ I can't say which I like most because I think the views in my own country and in other countries are quite different.

Avoid incorrect question word order in a statement; 'which one do I like most' is question form—use 'which I like most'. Remove stuttering and repeated words. Use definite article 'the views' to refer to specific category and make sentence concise with correct subject-verb agreement ('views... are').

× I have been to many countries before just like.

✓ I have been to many countries before, for example, Japan and Spain.

The original sentence is incomplete and lacks an object after 'just like'. Provide examples or complete the thought. Use present perfect 'have been' correctly and add specific examples or finish the clause to make the sentence grammatical and informative.