Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Your answer is relevant and gives a clear reason plus a personal detail, which is good. To improve, remove repetition ("I I"), make the structure tighter by leading with a topic sentence, then add one specific example of when or what you photograph. Use a linking phrase such as "for example" to connect details and keep the response to no more than 3–4 sentences.

예시: Yes, I do. I enjoy photographing scenes from different angles because it helps me capture the whole scenery. For example, at work I often take intraoral photos from several positions to document patient cases accurately.

제안: Your answer gives a clear preference and attempts to justify it, but the sentence is slightly long and repetitive ("peaceful and relaxing and breathtaking"). To improve, start with a direct topic sentence, then give 1–2 specific supporting reasons or an example, using a linking word like "because" or "for instance." Avoid stacking similar adjectives; choose the strongest one and expand with a concrete detail.

예시: I prefer rural views. I find the countryside more peaceful because there is less noise and the natural light makes scenes more photogenic, for instance, early-morning fields often have mist that creates dramatic photos.

제안: The answer starts well but is incomplete, contains grammar errors (plural agreement, "they make" vs "it makes", "reminds"), and ends abruptly. To improve, give a clear topic sentence, correct grammar, complete the explanation for why travel abroad is exciting, and add a specific example for each preference. Use linking words such as "however" or "on the other hand" to contrast the two ideas and keep to 2–3 concise sentences.

예시: I like both. The familiar scenery of my home country makes me feel comfortable and reminds me of family gatherings, while, on the other hand, traveling abroad is exciting because it offers new cultures and photo opportunities, for example, historic streets or different architecture.

× As a dentist, I often need to document patient cases, so I I usually take photos from various angles.

✓ As a dentist, I often need to document patient cases, so I usually take photos from various angles.

There is a duplicated word 'I' creating a sentence structure error and interrupting flow. Remove the extra 'I' to correct the sentence. Also ensure comma usage is fine: the conjunction 'so' links clauses correctly.

× Well, both have their own beauty, but I enjoy taking photos of rural views because they are more peaceful and relaxing and breathtaking because of the mix.

✓ Well, both have their own beauty, but I enjoy taking photos of rural views because they are more peaceful, relaxing, and breathtaking because of the mix of elements.

The original stringing of adjectives 'peaceful and relaxing and breathtaking' is awkward; adjectives should be coordinated with commas and a single 'and' before the final item. Also 'because of the mix' is vague; adding 'of elements' clarifies the noun the adjective refers to. This improves clarity and grammatical cohesion.

× I enjoy the familiar view of my home country because they make me feel comfortable and relaxed and they also reminds me of family traps.

✓ I enjoy the familiar views of my home country because they make me feel comfortable and relaxed, and they also remind me of family trips.

There are multiple problems: 'view' should be plural 'views' to match 'they'; pronoun 'they' refers to 'views' so plural is correct (singular/plural agreement). 'Reminds' must be 'remind' to agree with plural subject. 'Family traps' is likely a word choice error; 'family trips' fits context. Also add a comma before 'and' linking independent clauses.

× At the same time, travelling overseas is more exciting because.

✓ At the same time, travelling overseas is more exciting.

The sentence ends with a dangling conjunction 'because' with no clause following, creating a sentence structure error. Remove 'because' or complete the clause (for example, 'because I can experience new cultures'). Here we remove it to make a complete, grammatical sentence.