Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition ("I I") and unnecessary qualifiers ("I guess"). Vary vocabulary slightly (e.g., "smartphone" instead of "mobile phone") and mention a specific example or reason to make the answer more concrete.

예시: Yes, I do. I usually take photos with my smartphone because it’s convenient and the quality is good enough for online sharing. For example, last weekend I photographed a sunrise at the riverbank and posted it on Instagram to remember the moment.

제안: Give a clear preference in the topic sentence and then explain with specific reasons using linking words. Correct unclear words ("Rios" seems incorrect) and avoid hedging language like "probably". Mention concrete features of each setting to support your choice.

예시: I generally prefer rural views because they feel peaceful and offer wide-open landscapes. However, when I’m in a city like New York, I enjoy urban views too because of the striking skyline and lively street scenes, which make for dramatic photos.

제안: Start with a direct topic sentence stating your preference, then give a clear, specific reason. Avoid unclear phrases ("wheels" seems wrong) and explain what you mean by familiarity. Provide an example of a foreign view that impressed you to make the answer more vivid.

예시: I prefer views in other countries because unfamiliar places feel more photogenic and exciting. For instance, I loved the colorful street markets in Marrakech during my trip last year — the architecture and light were totally different from what I see at home.

× Oh yes I do.

✓ Oh yes, I do.

Add a comma after an introductory interjection for correct punctuation; this is not a grammatical pronoun error but improves clarity. Suggestion: include a comma after 'Oh' to separate the interjection from the clause.

× I don't have a professional camera to do it though.

✓ I don't have a professional camera to take photos, though.

The phrase 'to do it' is vague and awkward here. Use an infinitive that matches the action: 'to take photos'. Also place 'though' at the end for natural English order. Suggestion: replace 'to do it' with a clear verb and move 'though' to the end.

× But it doesn't matter I guess because I have a mobile phone and I think it's enough for taking pictures of views.

✓ But it doesn't matter, I guess, because I have a mobile phone and I think it's enough for taking pictures of views.

This sentence needs commas to set off the parenthetical phrase 'I guess'. Also 'it's enough for taking pictures of views' is acceptable but could be more natural as 'it's enough for taking pictures' or 'it's sufficient for photographing views'. Suggestion: add commas around 'I guess' and consider simplifying the ending.

× I like posting them on my socials and I I love making memories.

✓ I like posting them on my socials, and I love making memories.

There is a duplicated 'I' and a missing comma before the coordinating conjunction joining two independent clauses. Remove the extra 'I' and add a comma before 'and'. Suggestion: proofread to remove duplicated words and punctuate compound sentences correctly.

× It depends.

✓ It depends.

The sentence is grammatically fine as is; no correction needed. Included here only to acknowledge the turn.

× If I'm in New York, I probably prefer Rios in urban areas because New York is such a great place to take photos and watch views, but otherwise I prefer rural areas.

✓ If I'm in New York, I probably prefer views in urban areas because New York is such a great place to take photos and enjoy the views; otherwise, I prefer rural areas.

Original has 'Rios' (likely a typo) and 'watch views' which is incorrect collocation. Replace 'Rios' with 'views' and use 'enjoy the views' or 'viewing the scenery'. Also break the long sentence with a semicolon or comma plus transition 'otherwise' and add a comma after 'otherwise' for clarity. Suggestion: correct typos and use natural collocations like 'enjoy the views.'

× In other countries, because I'm so used to the wheels in my own country, they look so familiar to me that they don't seem like views to me anymore.

✓ In other countries, because I'm so used to the views in my own country, they look so familiar to me that they don't seem like views anymore.

The speaker probably meant 'views' rather than 'wheels'; 'wheels' is a wrong word (lexical error). Also repeating 'to me' is redundant; remove the final 'to me'. Suggestion: replace incorrect noun with intended 'views' and avoid redundant phrasing.