Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Сократите паузы и повторы, используйте полные и грамматически корректные фразы, добавьте связующее предложение для завершения мысли. Например, начните с общего утверждения, затем перечислите примеры и завершите кратким объяснением, почему вам это нравится.

예시: Yes, I enjoy taking photos of different views. I often photograph nature, such as flowers, clouds and mountains, because they look beautiful and peaceful. For example, I like capturing sunrise over the mountains to show the changing colours.

제안: Устраните звуки пауз и незавершённые фразы, постройте полное предложение с причиной и примером. Используйте связочные слова, такие как "because" и "for example", и завершайте мысль логично.

예시: I prefer both urban and rural views because they offer different photographic opportunities. For example, rural areas provide natural landscapes and wildlife, while cities offer interesting architecture and street scenes.

제안: Исправьте неправильные выражения и завершите предложения. Вместо «very family» используйте «familiar» или «nostalgic», дайте ясную причину и добавьте контраст с зарубежными видами, если необходимо.

예시: I prefer views in my own country because they feel familiar and hold personal memories. For example, I often visit the mountains near my hometown with my family to relax and take photos, while views abroad are interesting but less meaningful to me.

× I actually take pictures of nature like flowers, clouds, mountains and it gives me umm, such a beautiful. Such a beautiful.

✓ I actually take pictures of nature, like flowers, clouds, and mountains, and it makes me feel so happy/It is so beautiful.

The phrase 'such a beautiful' is incorrect because 'beautiful' is an adjective that needs a noun after 'a' (e.g., 'a beautiful view') or should be used without 'a' with a linking verb (e.g., 'It is so beautiful' or 'It makes me feel so happy'). Also the verb 'gives' is awkward here; 'makes me feel' or 'is' fits better. Suggestion: use 'It makes me feel so happy' or 'It is so beautiful' depending on intended meaning.

× Actually I prefer both of them because, uh, you can take different kind of pictures like, uh, nature and umm, modern buildings and you can.

✓ Actually I prefer both because you can take different kinds of pictures, like nature and modern buildings, and you can (capture varied scenes).

The phrase 'different kind of pictures' should be 'different kinds of pictures' to agree in number. Also 'both of them' is acceptable but 'both' is more natural. The trailing 'and you can' is incomplete; complete the idea (e.g., 'and you can capture varied scenes'). Suggestion: pluralize 'kind' and complete the sentence.

× Well, I prefer views in my own country because they are very family and I have personal memories there.

✓ Well, I prefer views in my own country because they are very familiar and I have personal memories there.

The word 'family' is incorrect here; the intended adjective is 'familiar' meaning known or connected to one’s experiences. Use 'familiar' to describe views that evoke personal memories. Suggestion: replace 'family' with 'familiar'.

× For example, I like the mountains near my hometown and we often go to relax and take photos with my family and my friends.

✓ For example, I like the mountains near my hometown, and we often go there to relax and take photos with my family and friends.

The original is mostly correct but needs a small addition for clarity: add 'there' after 'go' to indicate place, and omit the redundant 'my' before 'friends' for natural phrasing. 'Go to relax' is acceptable but 'go there to relax' is clearer. Suggestion: include 'there' and streamline 'my family and friends'.