Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct grammar; start with a clear topic sentence, reduce hesitations, fix article and pronoun mistakes, and add one specific example to make the answer more vivid. Use linking words to connect ideas (e.g., "because", "for example").

예시: Yes, I enjoy photographing different views because I grew up using a smartphone and camera. For example, when I visit the seaside I always take photos of the sunset and the waves because the colours change rapidly and look beautiful.

제안: Give a direct topic sentence, correct casual language, and add specific supporting detail and a linking phrase. Avoid vague words like "more greenish" — use precise descriptions. Keep it within 2–3 sentences.

예시: I prefer views in rural areas because I enjoy natural scenery. For instance, I like wide green fields and forested hills that look especially attractive at sunset, when warm light highlights the landscape.

제안: Begin with a clear topic sentence and avoid repetition. Provide a specific reason and one example of what makes foreign views appealing. Replace informal phrases like "why not" with more natural explanations and use a linking word (e.g., "because", "so").

예시: I prefer views in other countries because they offer new and exotic scenery I haven't seen before. For example, travelling to coastal towns abroad lets me see different architectural styles and coastal colours, which feels refreshing compared to familiar local views.

× I honestly think it is habitual as a someone who lived umm, her whole life with the smartphone and with the camera.

✓ I honestly think it is habitual for someone who has lived her whole life with a smartphone and a camera.

The original sentence misuses the article 'a' before 'someone' and uses past tense 'lived' without auxiliary; also 'the smartphone' and 'the camera' should be general ('a smartphone', 'a camera'). Use 'for someone' to indicate the condition, and present perfect 'has lived' to show an experience continuing to the present. Suggestion: replace 'as a someone' with 'for someone' and use 'has lived' and 'a smartphone'/'a camera'.

× So when I see something pretty, something beautiful, I just automatically take picture of it.

✓ So when I see something pretty or beautiful, I just automatically take a picture of it.

The phrase 'take picture' is missing the article before the noun 'picture'. Use the noun 'picture' with the indefinite article 'a'. Also 'something pretty, something beautiful' is redundant; use 'something pretty or beautiful' for clarity. Suggestion: insert 'a' before 'picture' and streamline the adjectives.

× I would say I prefer more rural areas 'cause I like nature and I like seeing something more greenish than the buildings in the urban areas.

✓ I would say I prefer rural areas because I like nature and seeing more greenery than buildings in urban areas.

Use 'because' instead of informal ''cause'. 'Prefer more rural areas' is awkward; say 'prefer rural areas'. 'Something more greenish' is informal and imprecise—use 'more greenery'. Also drop the definite article before 'urban areas' when speaking in general. Suggestion: replace ''cause' with 'because', use 'greenery', and remove unnecessary articles.

× And I think nature looks most beautiful with the sunset and sunshine so.

✓ I think nature looks most beautiful at sunset and in sunshine.

The original ends with a trailing 'so' that makes the sentence incomplete. 'With the sunset and sunshine' is awkward; use idiomatic prepositions 'at sunset' and 'in sunshine'. Suggestion: remove 'so' and rephrase using correct prepositions for times and conditions.

× I prefer views in other countries a bit more because I grew up.

✓ I prefer views in other countries a bit more because I grew up here.

The clause 'because I grew up' is incomplete without specifying where. Add 'here' to show contrast with 'other countries'. Suggestion: include 'here' or rephrase to 'because I grew up in my country'.

× I grew up seeing this view every single day and just why not explore something more exotic and new?

✓ I grew up seeing this view every single day, so why not explore something more exotic and new?

The original mixes a statement and a question without proper punctuation or conjunction. Use 'so' to link the reason to the suggestion and format as a question: 'so why not...?' Suggestion: add 'so' and punctuate correctly.