Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and avoid filler words. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Use more natural phrasing (e.g., "photos" instead of "images") and correct minor grammar ("I don't have great skills" → "I'm not very skilled").

예시: Yes, I enjoy taking photos of different views because I like capturing memories. For example, when I travel I often photograph streets and landscapes, although I’m not very skilled at photography, I still enjoy composing shots and trying different angles.

제안: Give a clear preference with reasons and avoid repetition. Use linking words (e.g., "because", "however", "for example") and correct unclear phrases ("sculptural all sculptures"). Provide one concrete example to make your answer specific.

예시: I enjoy both, but I prefer historic urban areas because they combine architecture and history. For example, I love visiting old city centers with ancient ruins and sculptures, and when I travel I usually plan visits to museums and archaeological sites.

제안: Avoid repeating phrases and give a concise topic sentence. Explain briefly why you prefer views in other countries with a specific reason or example. Remove redundancy and fix grammar ("I'm more I'm more" and dangling "other").

예시: I prefer views in other countries because I’m fascinated by different cultures and historical sites. For instance, I enjoy exploring medieval towns abroad to learn about their history and architecture, which feels more exciting than visiting familiar local places.

× Umm, I don't have the great skills.

✓ Umm, I don't have great skills.

The definite article 'the' is incorrect here because 'great skills' is a general plural noun phrase. Use no article for general statements about skills. Suggestion: omit 'the' or say 'the skills' only if referring to specific, previously mentioned skills.

× However, I like capturing memories and I like people taking images of me more than me taking pictures.

✓ However, I like capturing memories and I prefer people taking pictures of me to me taking pictures.

The sentence is awkward and contains a pronoun case issue; also 'prefer ... to ...' is the correct structure for comparisons. Use 'prefer A to B' and 'people taking pictures of me' rather than 'images' for consistency. Suggestion: use 'prefer people taking pictures of me to me taking pictures' or 'I prefer others to take pictures of me rather than me taking them.'

× I especially enjoy cities or the sculptural all sculptures and ancient ruins.

✓ I especially enjoy cities, sculptures, and ancient ruins.

Original has incorrect word order and redundant article/words ('the sculptural all sculptures'). Simplify list structure with commas and parallel nouns. Suggestion: list items in parallel form: 'cities, sculptures, and ancient ruins.'

× So when I travel I usually visit both sides.

✓ So when I travel, I usually visit both.

'Both sides' is vague here; context implies both urban and rural areas, so 'both' is sufficient if referenced, or explicitly say 'both urban and rural areas.' Also add a comma after the adverbial clause 'So when I travel.' Suggestion: 'So when I travel, I usually visit both urban and rural areas.'

× I am more into exploring other cultures so I'm not really interested in the views in my own country even though I love these views.

✓ I'm more into exploring other cultures, so I'm not really interested in the views in my own country even though I love them.

Pronoun 'these views' is awkward when referring back to 'the views in my own country'; use 'them' for natural reference. Also comma needed before 'so'. Suggestion: replace 'these views' with 'them' or repeat 'the views.'

× But I'm more I'm more passionate about exploring other cultures and other historical places other.

✓ But I'm more passionate about exploring other cultures and historical places.

Sentence contains repetition ('I'm more I'm more') and an extraneous 'other' at the end. Remove duplicates and the final 'other' to make a concise sentence. Suggestion: 'But I'm more passionate about exploring other cultures and historical places.'