Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Сосредоточьтесь на ясности и логичности: начните с простого прямого утверждения, затем добавьте одно-две конкретные детали. Избегайте грамматических ошибок (например, ‘all my jewellery about historical places’ и лишнего предлога ‘to’ в ‘to taking’). Также не используйте оборванные фразы — завершайте мысль. Попрактикуйтесь в использовании связок (because, for example) корректно и экономно.

예시: Yes, I enjoy photographing historical sights because I love history and old architecture. For example, I often take close-up shots of building details and wide shots of whole monuments to capture their atmosphere.

제안: Уменьшите заполнители (‘uh’, ‘umm’) и повторения; структуируйте ответ: дайте чёткое утверждение, затем 1–2 обоснования с конкретикой. Исправьте грамматику: «rural areas» (множественное), «because there are fewer people» или «because the nature is beautiful». Используйте связки (because, for example, so) правильно.

예시: I prefer rural areas to urban ones because rural places often contain more well-preserved historical sites and offer beautiful natural scenery. For example, in the countryside I can photograph old villages and peaceful landscapes without many tourists.

제안: Сделайте утверждение кратким и добавьте конкретные примеры вместо общих фраз. Избегайте пустых слов (‘umm’, ‘uh’) и грамматических ошибок: «rich in» вместо «rich with», «peaceful nature» или «peaceful landscapes». Приведите один конкретный пример места или типа вида.

예시: I prefer views in my own country because it is rich in diverse landscapes and historical sites. For example, when we visit the countryside I enjoy photographing tranquil rivers and traditional farmhouses that reflect local history.

× I like taking pictures of historical views because I'm interested in history and all my jewellery about historical places, but I don't like to taking pictures of for instance.

✓ I like taking pictures of historical views because I'm interested in history and all my jewellery is about historical places, but I don't like taking pictures of, for instance, modern buildings.

The original contains incorrect verb form 'don't like to taking' — use either 'don't like to take' or 'don't like taking'. Also 'all my jewellery about historical places' lacks a verb; insert 'is' to form a complete clause. Additionally, sentence needs a clear object after 'for instance' and commas for clarity. Suggestions: choose consistent structure ('like taking' or 'like to take'), include verbs for clauses, and add punctuation.

× I prefer, uh, historical places and in my opinion, uh, in rural area, I can find more historical places.

✓ I prefer historical places and, in my opinion, in rural areas I can find more historical places.

Use the plural 'rural areas' when speaking generally. Also adjust word order and punctuation: 'in my opinion' is a parenthetical phrase and should be set off by commas. Suggestion: use plural forms for general statements and place parenthetical phrases between commas.

× Umm, that's why I think, uh, I prefer rural, rural areas more than urban areas, uh, because their nature is so beautiful, uh, because they're people.

✓ Umm, that's why I think I prefer rural areas more than urban areas, because the nature there is so beautiful, and because there are friendly people.

Original has redundant words and wrong pronoun use: 'their nature' is unclear; use 'the nature there' or 'nature there'. 'They're people' is incorrect for 'there are people' or 'they are people' meaning. Also avoid repetition 'rural, rural areas'. Suggestion: remove redundancies, use 'there' for existence ('there are people'), and choose clearer adjectives like 'friendly people'.

× I prefer views in my country because my country is umm, uh, rich with uh, umm, different beautiful views.

✓ I prefer views in my country because my country is rich in different beautiful views.

Use 'rich in' rather than 'rich with' for describing abundance of scenery. The article 'the' is not needed before 'different beautiful views' when speaking generally. Suggestion: use 'rich in' and keep nouns without unnecessary articles in general statements.

× And when for example, we uh, go to countryside, we can see many, uh, peaceful, umm, nature then, for example.

✓ For example, when we go to the countryside, we can see a lot of peaceful natural scenery.

Original word order is disfluent and missing articles: 'go to countryside' should be 'go to the countryside'. 'Many peaceful nature' is ungrammatical; use 'a lot of peaceful natural scenery' or 'many peaceful natural places'. Remove repetitive 'for example' and filler words. Suggestion: use 'the countryside' and choose countable/uncountable nouns correctly (e.g., 'scenery' is uncountable).