Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition and filler, and give one specific example with short supporting details. Use linking words like “for example” or “so” correctly. Watch article use (“the”) and remove repeated words.

예시: Yes, I enjoy photographing different views because it helps me preserve memories and emotions. For example, I once photographed a sunset on the coast; whenever I look at the photo, it brings back the colors and the peaceful atmosphere of that evening.

제안: Give a clear topic sentence and use correct grammar and linking words. Avoid filler (“well”), singular/plural errors and awkward phrases. Provide two specific reasons and a short contrasting clause for urban areas. Keep it within three sentences.

예시: I prefer rural views because they offer wide open spaces and natural scenery that help me relax. For example, I enjoy walking in fields where I can breathe fresh air and listen to birds. In contrast, urban areas often feel crowded and noisy, which I find stressful.

제안: Answer directly, avoid hesitations (“uh”), and correct collocations (say “abroad” without “in”, “better landscapes” not “more good landscapes”). Give specific examples of countries or scenery and a brief reason. Use linking words like “for example” and “because.”

예시: I prefer views in other countries because many destinations abroad, like Canada, offer cleaner air and more varied landscapes. For example, I enjoy mountain ranges and coastal beaches because their dramatic scenery and fresh atmosphere feel very different from what I see at home.

× Yes, I do love taking pictures of different views because it helps me to preserve memories and the emotions.

✓ Yes, I do love taking pictures of different views because they help me preserve memories and emotions.

The subject 'taking pictures of different views' is plural in effect; 'they' refers to the pictures, so use plural pronoun and plural verb 'help'. 'the emotions' is unnatural; use 'emotions' without 'the'. Also omit 'to' after 'help' when followed by base verb 'preserve'. Improve clarity by matching plural noun and removing unnecessary articles.

× For example, the I have taken the the picture of the sunset view so I can look back and relieve the atmosphere of that place.

✓ For example, I have taken a picture of a sunset so I can look back and relive the atmosphere of that place.

Removed extraneous 'the' and fixed word order. Use past participle 'have taken' is correct; change 'the picture' to 'a picture'. Use 'sunset' instead of 'the sunset view' for natural English. 'Relive' (not 'relieve') is correct verb meaning to experience again. 'Relieve' means to reduce pain. Use 'a' before 'picture' and 'sunset' because they are non-specific here.

× Well, I prefer a rural areas because the IT has more space, open spaces and the natural views.

✓ Well, I prefer rural areas because they have more open space and natural views.

Do not use the article 'a' with plural 'areas'; use the plural noun without 'a'. 'IT' is incorrect; use 'they' to refer to 'rural areas'. 'Open spaces' is fine but 'open space' as an uncountable idea is more natural here. Remove 'the' before 'natural views'.

× Moreover with there I can breathe more.

✓ Moreover, I can breathe more easily there.

Original word order and preposition use is incorrect. 'With there' is ungrammatical. Place 'there' at the end or after verb and use adverb 'easily' to express the manner of breathing. Alternatively: 'Moreover, I can breathe more easily in the countryside.'

× However, in the urban, urban areas of congested play have congested places and full of traffic which is quite stressful.

✓ However, urban areas are congested and full of traffic, which is quite stressful.

Remove repetition 'urban, urban' and fix word order. 'Areas of congested play have congested places' is ungrammatical. Simplify to 'urban areas are congested and full of traffic' and add a relative clause 'which is quite stressful'.

× I prefer the views of the other countries because, uh, many places in abroad such as Canada have much cleaner air and uh, more good landscapes.

✓ I prefer the views of other countries because many places abroad, such as Canada, have much cleaner air and better landscapes.

Do not use 'the' before 'other countries' unless specifying specific ones. Use 'abroad' without 'in'. Replace 'more good landscapes' with 'better landscapes' to use proper comparative adjective. Add commas around the example 'such as Canada'.

× For example, I love to see the views of mountains or beaches, which has more good beautiful sceneries as it is.

✓ For example, I love to see views of mountains or beaches, which have more beautiful scenery.

'Views of mountains or beaches' is plural, so use 'have' not 'has'. 'More good beautiful sceneries' is redundant and ungrammatical; use 'more beautiful scenery' or simply 'beautiful scenery'. 'Scenery' is uncountable, so use singular form. Remove unnecessary 'as it is'.