Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Remove filler words (e.g., "uh") and make your topic sentence more concise. Add one specific example to make your reason more vivid, and use a linking phrase to connect ideas (e.g., "because" → "For example,"). Keep to 2–3 sentences.

예시: Yes, I love taking pictures of different views because photography helps me preserve memories for the future. For example, when I visited a desert sunset last year I took several photos that always remind me of the colours and quiet of that evening.

제안: Start with a clear topic sentence and avoid repetition (e.g., "peaceful" and "peace and quiet"). Add a specific detail or contrast to strengthen your answer and use a linking word like "because" or "so" for coherence.

예시: I prefer views in rural areas because they are peaceful and less crowded. For instance, I enjoy photos of open fields and small villages since the quiet atmosphere helps me relax and focus on natural details.

제안: Begin with a direct topic sentence (e.g., "I enjoy both"). Avoid vague phrases and repetition (e.g., "views to view"). Give one specific contrast or example of a view at home and one abroad, and use linking words like "however" or "for example" to organise your ideas.

예시: I enjoy both views in my country and abroad. For example, in Saudi Arabia I love photographing desert landscapes with dramatic dunes, while in other countries I enjoy coastal scenes and architectural landmarks, so both offer different kinds of inspiration.

× I really love taking pictures of different views because, uh, I enjoy photography and I think it's a really great way of keeping a memory, keeping it safe and looking back to it in the future.

✓ I really love taking pictures of different views because I enjoy photography and I think it's a great way to preserve memories and look back on them in the future.

The original uses 'keeping a memory, keeping it safe and looking back to it' which is awkward and incorrect collocation. 'Preserve memories' is a natural verb+noun collocation; 'look back on them' is the correct prepositional phrase. Also remove filler 'uh' and redundant 'a' before 'memory'. Use plural 'memories' to match general meaning.

× I prefer views in rural areas because they're just very peaceful and I enjoy that peace and quiet that these areas give.

✓ I prefer views in rural areas because they're very peaceful, and I enjoy the peace and quiet these areas provide.

The phrase 'that these areas give' is not wrong grammatically but is wordy and slightly incorrect register. 'Provide' is a more appropriate verb collocating with 'peace and quiet.' Also remove 'just' for formality and streamline the sentence. Subject-verb agreement is fine; correction focuses on word choice and conciseness.

× I think I have a mixed opinion on that because my country offers a lot of different areas and each area has its own climate.

✓ I think I have mixed feelings about that because my country has many different regions and each region has its own climate.

'Mixed opinion on' is less natural than 'mixed feelings about.' 'Offers a lot of different areas' is awkward; 'has many different regions' is clearer. 'Area' vs 'region' and 'a lot of' vs 'many' are improved for formality and precision.

× So there's a lot of views to view in Saudi Arabia, but in other countries there's also very interesting views to see.

✓ So there are many views to see in Saudi Arabia, and there are also very interesting views in other countries.

Use plural 'there are' to match 'views.' 'Views to view' is redundant; use 'views to see.' Avoid starting clauses with 'but' when contrasting less forcefully; 'and' connects more smoothly. Change 'a lot of' to 'many' and fix verb agreement.

× So I think I'd enjoy either one.

✓ So I think I would enjoy either.

'Either one' is acceptable in spoken English but 'either' is cleaner here. Using the full form 'would' is slightly more formal than the contraction 'I'd' for a written correction. No major modal error, but this refines register.