Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Your answer is clear and relevant, but it is slightly repetitive and includes filler. To improve, remove redundancy, use one topic sentence, then add a specific detail or short reason. Use a linking phrase to connect ideas and vary vocabulary (e.g., 'landscapes' instead of repeating 'views' or 'sceneries').

예시: Yes, I enjoy photographing different views, especially mountain ranges and waterfalls. For example, I like capturing the contrast between rugged peaks and misty waterfalls because it creates dramatic images.

제안: Good comparison, but the answer contains hesitation and some vague phrasing. Make a direct preference statement first, then support it with two specific reasons using linking words (e.g., 'because' and 'for example'). Avoid filler words like 'uh' and 'I guess.'

예시: I prefer rural views because they are greener and less affected by pollution. For example, I enjoy photographing mountain ranges and waterfalls in the countryside, where the light and colours feel more natural.

제안: The answer shows enthusiasm and gives specific locations, which is good. Improve by making a direct opening sentence, reducing hesitation, and providing a concise reason or one concrete example of what you want to photograph. Use linking words like 'for instance' instead of fillers.

예시: I prefer exploring views in other countries because they offer different cultural landscapes. For instance, I would like to photograph ancient temples in Indonesia and the traditional ceremonies in Bali to capture unique architectural details and local colour.

× If you're talking about views relating to sceneries, then yeah, I like taking pictures of different views, particularly views of mountain ranges, and I like taking pictures of sceneries and waterfalls.

✓ If you're talking about views of scenery, then yeah, I like taking pictures of different views, particularly mountain ranges, and I like taking pictures of waterfalls.

Use 'of' with 'views' and 'scenery' is uncountable so use singular form 'scenery' not 'sceneries'. Also 'views of mountain ranges' is clearer than 'views relating to sceneries' and repeating 'taking pictures of' can be reduced for fluency. Suggestion: use 'views of' + noun and treat 'scenery' as uncountable. Grammar problem type ID: 11

× The views in urban areas might be a little bit more polluted, I guess because of the population, and in case of rural areas we get to capture more natural views like relating to uh, mountain ranges and waterfalls and parks.

✓ The views in urban areas might be a little more polluted, I guess because of the population, and in rural areas we get to capture more natural views such as mountain ranges, waterfalls, and parks.

Use 'in rural areas' instead of 'in case of rural areas'. Use 'such as' or 'like' to introduce examples; 'relating to' is unnecessary. Also replace 'a little bit more' with 'a little more' for conciseness. Suggestion: prefer 'in rural areas' and 'such as' when listing examples. Grammar problem type ID: 11

× I'm a bit curious to explore the views relating to other countries.

✓ I'm a bit curious to explore the views in other countries.

Use 'in other countries' rather than 'relating to other countries'. 'Relating to' is wordy and awkward here. Suggestion: use 'views in' + place for natural phrasing. Grammar problem type ID: 11

× Particularly I am interested in Indonesia, which has a lot of different, uh, ancient monasteries, temples and also I want to visit Bali, I guess because of the culture.

✓ In particular, I am interested in Indonesia, which has many ancient monasteries and temples, and I also want to visit Bali because of its culture.

Use 'In particular' instead of 'Particularly' at clause start for formality. Use 'many' rather than 'a lot of different' for conciseness. Remove the filler 'uh'. Use 'and I also want' for parallel structure. Use 'its culture' to show possession (Bali's culture). This involves article/word-choice and pronoun reference improvement. Suggestion: keep sentences concise, avoid fillers, and use possessive pronoun for clarity. Grammar problem type ID: 22}]}