Travelling— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be direct and concise: start with a clear topic sentence that answers the question, then give 1–2 specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid contradictory or unclear phrases (e.g. “stay home when I'm in another country” conflicts with “go out visiting”). Use accurate vocabulary for travel (e.g. sightseeing, explore, local culture).

예시: No, I usually prefer to sit by the window because I like to watch the landscape while travelling. For example, when I fly to a new country I enjoy seeing the coastline and mountains from above, which helps me get excited about exploring the local culture and landmarks once I arrive.

제안: Give a clear topic sentence, then add one or two concrete details (when, who, what you did, why it was memorable). Use linking words (for example, because, and, so) and avoid repetition and vague phrases like “different reality” without specifics. Keep within 3–4 sentences total.

예시: Yes. When I was eight, my family and I spent two weeks in Miami, Florida. We visited beaches, went to an aquarium, and tried Cuban food, which I had never tasted before. That trip stood out because the warm weather and new activities made me more curious about other cultures.

× No, I like to stay home when I'm like in another country.

✓ No, I like to stay at home when I'm in another country.

The original uses 'like' twice redundantly and the preposition 'home' should be 'at home'. Also 'when I'm like in another country' is colloquial; remove 'like' to form correct present tense statement describing a general preference. Suggestion: avoid filler 'like' and use 'at home' with present continuous 'I'm in'. Grammar problem type's ID: 6

× I prefer to go out visiting sightseeing new places that are different from my country in order to be aware of what is outside my own city and see different reality.

✓ I prefer to go out visiting new places and sightseeing places that are different from my country so I can learn about what lies beyond my city and see a different way of life.

The original sentence has awkward word order and redundancy ('visiting sightseeing new places'). 'Sightseeing' and 'visiting' were improperly combined. Also 'see different reality' is unnatural; use 'see a different way of life' or 'experience a different reality'. Use 'so I can' instead of 'in order to be' for clarity. Keep verbs parallel: 'visiting new places and sightseeing'. Grammar problem type's ID: 26

× Yes, when I was really young I went with my family in Miami in the United States.

✓ Yes, when I was really young I went to Miami in the United States with my family.

Use 'went to' for destinations, not 'went in'. Also place 'with my family' either before or after the location for clarity; 'went to Miami with my family' is natural. Ensure prepositions indicate direction ('to') rather than location ('in'). Grammar problem type's ID: 11

× It was the best trip I ever had in my own life because because it's such a different reality from the city where I live and it opens it blows my mind and yeah that's it.

✓ It was the best trip I have ever had in my life because it's such a different reality from the city where I live, and it blew my mind.

Use present perfect 'have ever had' for life experiences up to now. Remove duplicate 'because'. 'It opens it blows my mind' is ungrammatical; choose one expression, e.g. 'it blew my mind' (past effect). Also 'in my own life' is wordy; use 'in my life'. Remove 'yeah that's it' in formal response. Fix tense consistency: experience described completed in past -> past simple 'blew'. Grammar problem type's ID: 22