Travelling— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: 总体回答自然且直接，观点明确。但有以下改进点： 1) 精简冗余：开头“Yes, of course”与后句重复偏多，可合并为一句简洁的主题句； 2) 句子长度与连贯性：第三句和第四句可以用连接词更流畅地衔接（例如“for example”或“also”）； 3) 细节更具体：描述风景时可用更具体的词（例如“coastal views”, “mountain landscapes”, “city skyline”）或加上感受（例如“relaxing”或“exciting”）； 4) 语法小修正：最后一句应为“see the clouds”复数形式。 改进方向（具体步骤）：先用一短句回答，再用一至两句用连接词给出具体例子并表达感受，最多不超过5句。

예시: Yes, I usually prefer a window seat when travelling because I enjoy looking outside. For example, on buses I like to watch coastal views or rural landscapes, which I find relaxing, and on planes I enjoy watching the clouds and the patchwork of fields below. These views help me pass the time and feel more connected to the journey.

제안: 回答直接，但存在语言与内容问题： 1) 词汇与表达不够准确：“this globe”不自然，改为“the world”或“many countries”；“Xiang”可能是地名但不明确，应使用常见拼写或具体城市名； 2) 句子结构需改进：最后部分逗号拼接多句，应分成两句并用连接词（e.g. “for example”或“such as”）； 3) 细节不足：可以加入一两个具体的回忆或感受（例如一次难忘的景点、活动或学到的东西）以增加说服力； 4) 语言自然度：避免重复“we’ve been”与“such as”，可用多样句式。 改进方向（具体步骤）：先简洁回答是否有，然后举1–2个具体例子并描述你的感受或印象，控制在3–4句内。

예시: Yes, I often went on long trips with my family when I was a child. For example, we visited Beijing and a few nearby provinces, where I loved exploring historical sites, and we also travelled to countries like Korea and Thailand, which opened my eyes to new cultures. Those trips were enjoyable and taught me a lot about different places.

× When I'm taking a bus, I would like to see the beautiful sceneries along the road.

✓ When I'm taking a bus, I would like to see the beautiful scenery along the road.

“scenery”是不可数名词，不能用复数形式“sceneries”。应使用单数不可数形式“scenery”。建议记住：表示风景、景色类一般用不可数名词scenery。

× And if I'm taking a plane, I also like to see the cloud.

✓ And if I'm taking a plane, I also like to see the clouds.

cloud应为复数形式“clouds”，因为飞机上看到的通常是很多云，而非单一的云。此处用复数更自然。

× When travelling, I would definitely prefer to sit by the window, whatever the vehicle is.

✓ When travelling, I would definitely prefer to sit by the window, whatever the vehicle.

句末的“is”不必要且冗余。固定表达是“whatever the vehicle”或“whatever the mode of transport”。保留“is”会造成句子结构不自然。建议在此类固定短语中省略多余的系动词。

× We've been to many places in this globe, such as Xiang, Beijing, even other countries such as Korea, Thailand and Canada, I enjoyed that experience.

✓ We went to many places in the world, such as Xiang and Beijing, and even to other countries such as Korea, Thailand and Canada. I enjoyed that experience.

原句有几处问题： 1) “We've been to many places in this globe”中的时态和措辞不自然。使用过去经历可用简单过去“we went”或现在完成时“I've been to”二选其一，并且“this globe”不常用，应改为“the world”。 2) 列举地点之间缺少连词和介词，“such as Xiang, Beijing, even other countries such as...”语序混乱，应分句并在“even to other countries”前加介词“to”。 3) 将句子分为两句用以避免run-on sentence（逗号拼接多个独立分句）。建议把经历描述用一致时态，若强调过去回忆用过去时。