Travelling— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Content is relevant and answers the question directly, but there are grammatical errors, some redundancy, and slightly unnatural phrasing. Improve grammar (subject-verb agreement, article use), reduce filler words, and use linking words to make supporting details clearer. Be more specific about why seeing clouds or weather excites you (e.g., spotting landmarks, watching takeoff/landing). Keep answers concise (no more than 5 sentences).

예시: I prefer to sit by the window when I travel, especially on planes, because I enjoy looking at the clouds and watching the landscape below. Also, I like observing the weather and spotting landmarks during takeoff and landing, which makes the journey more exciting. For these reasons, I usually choose a window seat when I can.

제안: Answer addresses the question but has hesitations, grammatical mistakes (plural/singular agreement), and repetition. Improve fluency by removing fillers (uh, like), correct grammar (e.g., 'they are really hardworking people'), and add a clear topic sentence followed by specific supporting details (where you went, activities, why memories are precious). Use linking words (for example, because, so) to connect ideas smoothly. Keep within 3–4 sentences.

예시: We didn’t have many long trips when I was a child because my parents were very hardworking, so we usually took short weekend outings instead. For example, we often drove to nearby parks or beaches and spent the day having picnics and exploring, which created precious memories for my sister and me.

× I always like to sit by the window when traveling, especially on the airplane.

✓ I always like to sit by the window when traveling, especially on airplanes.

Use of 'on the airplane' is awkward; plural 'airplanes' or 'on a plane' is more natural. This is not a present participle error per se, but it fits under 'Verb in the present participle form' only if focusing on 'traveling' which is correctly used here as a gerund/present participle. Suggestion: use 'on a plane' or 'on airplanes' to match general preference statements and count noun usage.

× Really, I will take some seats that is next to the window so that I can see the clouds, the weather in that country and that will make me feel more excited.

✓ Really, I will choose a seat that is next to the window so that I can see the clouds and the weather in that country, and that will make me feel more excited.

Problems: 'take some seats' is unnatural when referring to choosing one seat; use 'choose a seat'. 'that is next to the window' — 'that' refers to 'a seat' (singular) so 'is' is grammatically OK but sentence needs smoothing. Also combine items with 'and' not commas. Suggest using singular noun 'a seat' and clearer verbs ('choose'). This addresses subject-verb agreement and noun number choice.

× Actually, our family usually had a short journey because my, uh, my parents, they are really hardworking person, but uh, uh, we have a short journey in like every weekend.

✓ Actually, my family usually took short trips because my parents were very hardworking, but we took a short trip almost every weekend.

Tense consistency: 'usually had' is awkward for habitual past; use 'usually took'. 'they are really hardworking person' has number/person issues: 'parents' (plural) require plural predicate 'were very hardworking' for past context and adjective phrase 'very hardworking people'. 'have a short journey in like every weekend' mixes present and past and uses wrong preposition; use 'took a short trip almost every weekend.' This fixes past tense and agreement.

× Actually, our family usually had a short journey because my, uh, my parents, they are really hardworking person, but uh, uh, we have a short journey in like every weekend.

✓ Actually, my family usually took short trips because my parents were very hardworking people, and we took a short trip almost every weekend.

Redundant and incorrect pronoun use: 'my parents, they are' is redundant; drop 'they' or rephrase. 'person' is incorrect for plural 'parents' — use 'people'. Also correct pronoun references and number agreement.

× So that's kind of, really, uh, precious memories for me and my sister.

✓ So those are really precious memories for my sister and me.

'That's' (that is) is singular but refers to 'memories' (plural), so use 'Those are'. Word order: 'my sister and me' is more natural than 'me and my sister'. Remove filler words ('kind of, really, uh') for clarity. This fixes sentence structure and number agreement.