Travelling— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Reduce repetition and tighten sentences. Start with a direct topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct small grammar mistakes (e.g., tense and articles) and avoid filler phrases. Aim for clearer cohesion by linking ideas (for example: “because” or “which”).

예시: Yes, I prefer the window seat. I enjoy watching the clouds and the landscape below because it helps me relax and sparks my curiosity about how airplanes and airports operate.

제안: Begin with a clear direct answer, fix grammar (subject-verb agreement and tense), and add one specific detail to make the response more engaging. Use a linking word to connect the example to your feeling (for example: “so” or “therefore”). Avoid fillers like “uh.”

예시: Yes, I did. For example, as a child I travelled by car from Johor to Ipoh — an eight-hour trip — so I often found it exhausting and boring because there were few interesting stops along the way.

× Whenever I travel on a plane, I will always tell my parents to get me tickets.

✓ Whenever I travel by plane, I always ask my parents to get me tickets.

Using 'will' for habitual actions is incorrect. Use simple present for habits (I always ask). Also 'on a plane' is less natural than 'by plane.' Replace 'tell my parents to get me tickets' with 'ask my parents to get me tickets' for natural phrasing.

× That is on that is a window seat because I like looking at the clouds, looking at other planes when my plane was on the runway.

✓ That is a window seat because I like looking at the clouds and at other planes when my plane is on the runway.

The original has redundant words ('That is on that is') and mixes tenses ('was' vs ongoing context). Use present simple 'is' for general situations. Add 'and at' to connect two objects of 'looking at.' Remove extra 'that is.'

× It really gets me to thinking about how everything works.

✓ It really makes me think about how everything works.

'Gets me to thinking' is informal and awkward here. Use 'makes me think' or 'gets me thinking.' If using 'gets me thinking,' drop 'to.' Present simple 'makes me think' is clearer and matches general truth.

× Yeah, I believe everybody have this type of experience.

✓ Yeah, I believe everybody has this type of experience.

Subject 'everybody' is singular and requires singular verb 'has,' not 'have.' This is a subject-verb agreement error.

× That would be about an 8 hour car journey, which is quite long.

✓ That was about an eight-hour car journey, which was quite long.

The student refers to a past experience, so verbs should be in past tense ('was'). Also spell 'eight-hour' with hyphen and write 'hour' in words for formality. Maintain past tense consistency.

× I don't enjoy it because it gets very boring.

✓ I didn't enjoy it because it got very boring.

This sentence describes a past experience, so use past tense 'didn't enjoy' and 'got' to keep tense consistent with the narrative about childhood journeys.