Travelling— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be concise and correct grammar; start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons using linking words. Avoid repetition and use natural collocations (e.g., “it relaxes me,” “I enjoy the scenery”).

예시: Yes, I prefer to sit by the window because I can enjoy the scenery. For example, I like watching green fields and small villages pass by, which relaxes me and makes long journeys more enjoyable.

제안: Use correct tense and more specific details. Begin with a clear topic sentence in past tense, then add 1–2 precise details (places visited, feelings) linked with words like “for example” or “because.” Finish with a short conclusion. Avoid vague endings.

예시: Yes. When I was five, I went on a long trip to Isfahan with my parents. We visited historical sites such as Naqsh-e Jahan Square and several traditional bazaars, so I remember feeling amazed by the architecture and lively atmosphere.

× Yeah, when I was a 5, I had a long journey with my parents.

✓ Yeah, when I was 5, I had a long journey with my parents.

The article 'a' is incorrectly used before the age number. In English we do not use an article before a numeral indicating age; say 'when I was 5' rather than 'when I was a 5'. Remove the article. Suggestion: say 'when I was 5' or 'when I was five'.

× We go to the Isfahan, the city of Iran, and it was so fun because we go to the historical and cultural places that made me feel.

✓ We went to Isfahan, a city in Iran, and it was so fun because we visited historical and cultural places that made me feel happy.

The sentence mixes present tense 'go' with past context 'when I was 5' and uses awkward noun phrases. Use past tense 'went' and 'visited' to match the past time reference. Also change 'the Isfahan, the city of Iran' to 'Isfahan, a city in Iran' for natural article use. Add an appropriate adjective ('happy') to complete 'made me feel'. Suggestion: keep consistent past tense and use natural article forms.

× We go to the Isfahan, the city of Iran, and it was so fun because we go to the historical and cultural places that made me feel.

✓ We went to Isfahan, a city in Iran, and it was so much fun because we visited historical and cultural places that made me feel excited.

Aside from tense, the article 'the' before 'Isfahan' and 'historical and cultural places' is unnecessary. Use 'Isfahan' without 'the' and 'a city in Iran' as the correct modifier. 'So much fun' or 'so fun' are acceptable; 'so much fun' is more natural. Ensure verbs are past tense to match the time frame.

× I prefer to sit near the window because I can see a whole a whole environment and and greenery area.

✓ I prefer to sit near the window because I can see the whole environment and green areas.

The phrase repeats 'a whole a whole' and uses 'greenery area' which is unidiomatic. Use 'the whole environment' or 'the whole landscape' and 'green areas' (plural) or 'greenery' (uncountable). Also remove the repeated words. Suggestion: simplify to 'the whole environment and green areas' or 'the whole landscape and lots of greenery'.

× So it's fills me excited during the traveling and I can use my view for a relaxing and enjoying the.

✓ So it fills me with excitement during the journey, and I can relax and enjoy the view.

'It's fills me excited' is incorrect: 'fill' requires an object and preposition ('fill me with excitement') or use 'it makes me excited'. 'During the traveling' is awkward; use 'during the journey' or 'while travelling'. 'I can use my view for a relaxing and enjoying the.' is ungrammatical; instead say 'I can relax and enjoy the view.' Suggestion: use correct verb patterns and natural collocations.

× So it's fills me excited during the traveling and I can use my view for a relaxing and enjoying the.

✓ So it makes me excited during the journey and I can relax and enjoy the view.

If using 'it' + verb, the correct third person singular form is required: 'it makes me excited' rather than 'it's fills me excited'. Also 'makes' needs no contraction with 'is'. Use 'makes' to express cause. Suggestion: 'it makes me excited' or 'it fills me with excitement'.