Travelling— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one specific reason and a brief example. Avoid fillers (uh, umm) and redundant phrases. Use linking words like "because" or "so" to connect ideas.

예시: Yes, I prefer window seats because I enjoy watching the scenery pass by. For example, on a recent train trip I watched rolling hills and small villages, which made the journey feel more relaxing and interesting.

제안: Give a direct answer and clarify details: state whether you had long journeys, then explain briefly why with one or two specific reasons or an example. Reduce repetition and avoid unclear words (like "trauma travel"). Use simple linking words such as "because" or "so".

예시: No, I did not take long journeys with my family when I was a child because we usually visited relatives nearby. For instance, most trips were short drives of an hour or two to my grandmother's house, so we rarely travelled far.

× Uh, yes, I really love to sit near the window because I can see all the world and all the environment uh, as during, uh, during my travel and it's fooled me really excited because I can't umm, experience new visual umm.

✓ Uh, yes, I really love to sit near the window because I can see the whole world and the surroundings during my travels, and it really makes me excited because I can experience new sights.

This sentence contains several issues: incorrect noun phrases ('all the world' should be 'the whole world'), incorrect collocation ('all the environment' -> 'the surroundings'), incorrect tense/number for habitual action ('during my travel' -> 'during my travels'), and awkward or incorrect verb choice ('it's fooled me really excited' -> 'it really makes me excited') as well as missing infinitive/gerund structure ('I can't umm, experience' intended as 'I can experience'). According to the Grammar Problem Type List, these map to 26 (Sentence structure errors), 1 (Singular and plural issue), and 13 (Incorrect use of adjectives or adverbs). Suggestions: use 'the whole' instead of 'all the', use plural 'travels' for repeated actions, replace 'all the environment' with 'the surroundings', and use 'makes me excited' to express cause and effect. Also use 'sights' or 'visuals' as countable noun for things you see.

× Umm, actually I don't have, uh, have, uh, trauma travel or, uh, long journey with my family, uh, especially when I was a kid.

✓ Umm, actually I didn't have any long journeys or travel experiences with my family, especially when I was a kid.

This sentence uses incorrect present tense 'don't have' when referring to past experience; it should use past tense 'didn't have' (Grammar Problem Type 5: Past tense issue). It also has an unnecessary word 'trauma' which seems incorrect in context and the noun phrase should be 'long journeys' (plural) or 'travel experiences' (Grammar Problem Type 1: Singular and plural issue). Suggestion: use past simple for past situations and choose clearer nouns like 'long journeys' or 'travel experiences'.

× And because we always go to travel with my mom, with my mom and it's very sure it was very short because we can't ask.

✓ And we always used to travel with my mom, and the trips were always very short because we couldn't afford to ask for more time.

Multiple mistakes: 'we always go to travel' is incorrect for past habitual action; use 'we always used to travel' or 'we would travel' (Grammar Problem Type 6: Present tense issue versus past habitual). 'With my mom, with my mom' is repetitive and should be stated once. 'it's very sure it was very short' is ungrammatical; use 'the trips were always very short' (Grammar Problem Type 26: Sentence structure errors). 'because we can't ask' is present tense and unclear; likely intended 'we couldn't ask' or 'we couldn't afford to ask for more time' (Grammar Problem Type 5: Past tense issue and 11: Incorrect use of prepositions/phrasing). Suggestion: use past habitual forms and a clearer reason phrase such as 'we couldn't ask for more time' or 'we couldn't afford it'.