Travelling— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct word choice; start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons using linking words. Correct vocabulary (e.g., "view" not "beef", "motion sickness" not "calci"), and finish the sentence. Keep under 5 sentences and avoid repetition.

예시: Yes, I prefer to sit by the window when travelling because I enjoy the view. Also, it helps me manage motion sickness since I can watch the horizon, which makes me feel less dizzy.

제안: Begin with a direct response, then give specific supporting details connected with linking words. Use correct phrasing and avoid repetition (e.g., "car journeys" instead of "car drive"). Mention one or two concrete memories or examples to make it vivid.

예시: Not really; my family preferred short car journeys rather than long trips. For example, we often drove to nearby coastal towns to go sightseeing and relax, and I remember stopping at a lighthouse where we had a picnic.

× Yes, I like it and I always try to try to do that because of course the beef from the car or some vehicle is great but more important, more importantly it is necessary for me because I feel I easily get a calci or motion thickness and it's

✓ Yes, I like it and I always try to do that because the view from the car or other vehicle is great. More importantly, it is necessary for me because I easily get car sickness or motion sickness.

Errors: 'beef' is a wrong word choice for 'view' (vocabulary error), 'try to try to do that' is redundant (word repetition), 'some vehicle' is awkward (article/preposition and noun choice), 'more important, more importantly' is repetitive and needs correct connector form, 'I feel I easily get a calci or motion thickness' contains incorrect and misspelled words ('calci', 'thickness') and wrong collocation. Suggested improvements: replace 'beef' with 'view'; remove duplicate 'try to'; use 'other vehicle' instead of 'some vehicle'; choose one transition 'More importantly,' and place a period to split sentences; use correct terms 'car sickness' or 'motion sickness' and the common phrasing 'I easily get car/motion sickness'. Maintain present habitual tense 'I like' and 'I always try' to match the question about preference.

× Not really my family loved travelling but it's always a drive, car drive and not a long journey but so we enjoyed sightseeing and spent relaxed, relaxing times.

✓ Not really. My family loved travelling, but it was always a drive, not a long journey. We enjoyed sightseeing and spent relaxed, enjoyable times.

Errors: Missing punctuation and sentence boundaries ('Not really my family...' should be split). 'it's always a drive, car drive' is ungrammatical and redundant; use past tense consistently ('loved' and 'was always a drive'). 'not a long journey but so we enjoyed' is awkward connector use and sentence structure; use 'not a long journey. We enjoyed...'. 'spent relaxed, relaxing times' uses inappropriate adjective order and choice; use 'spent relaxed, enjoyable times' or 'had relaxing times'. Suggested improvements: split into clear sentences, keep past tense for childhood experiences, remove redundancy, choose appropriate adjectives ('relaxed' or 'relaxing' but not both) and correct word order.