Travelling— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and complete the sentence. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific supporting detail using a linking word. Avoid repetition and grammatical errors (e.g., 'landscapes').

예시: Yes, I prefer sitting by the window when I travel because it lets me enjoy changing landscapes. For example, I can watch mountains and coastal views pass by, which makes long journeys more relaxing.

제안: Give a direct, coherent answer with a clear time reference and one or two specific details. Use correct tenses and avoid repeating phrases. Link ideas with words like 'when' or 'for example'.

예시: Yes, I went on a long family trip when I was a child. For example, my family and I traveled to Korea, which is where I was born, and I remember visiting relatives and seeing many new places.

× Yes, I enjoy sitting by the window when traveling because when I sit there I can explore new lands, beautiful landscape and.

✓ Yes, I enjoy sitting by the window when traveling because when I sit there I can see new lands and beautiful landscapes.

The original sentence has issues with parallelism and noun forms. 'Explore' is acceptable but 'see' is clearer for a window view; more importantly 'landscape' should be plural to match 'new lands' and the conjunction 'and' must be followed by another noun; the fragment 'and.' is incomplete. Improve by using parallel nouns ('new lands' and 'beautiful landscapes') and a clear verb ('see').

× Well, I had a long journey with my family as a child for a long time ago when I was a child. I have a chance. I had a chance to travel to Korea and in this place I've been born with my family.

✓ When I was a child, I took a long journey with my family. I had the chance to travel to Korea, which is the place where I was born.

The original contains redundant phrases ('as a child' and 'when I was a child' repeated), incorrect tense and awkward phrasing ('for a long time ago' is ungrammatical), and a wrong passive/relative clause ('in this place I've been born with my family'). Correct by using a clear past-tense narrative ('When I was a child, I took a long journey with my family'), using 'had the chance' for opportunity in the past, and forming a correct relative clause for birthplace ('which is the place where I was born').