Travelling— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct grammar (they're -> I'm/people are; deers -> deer) and avoid vague phrases like “greenery place.”

예시: Yes, I prefer to sit by the window because I enjoy watching the scenery. For example, I like seeing lush hills, waterfalls and small houses pass by, and sometimes I spot deer or other wildlife which makes the trip more interesting.

제안: Give a clear, grammatically correct past-tense answer with a simple structure: topic sentence + one or two specific details. Use linking words (for example, because, so) and avoid repetition. Mention where you traveled and why it was long or memorable.

예시: Yes, I had a long journey with my family when I was a child. For example, we used to travel from our remote village to Kathmandu, which took many hours because the roads were narrow and winding, so the trip always felt long but exciting.

× Yeah, I really prefer to sit by the window when they're traveling.

✓ Yeah, I really prefer to sit by the window when I'm traveling.

The pronoun 'they're' (they are) disagrees with the speaker 'I'. The correct subject is 'I', so use 'I'm traveling'. Suggestion: match the subject and verb form (first person present continuous 'I am' -> 'I'm').

× I really like to look off outside of the greenery place and the waterfalls and some new houses.

✓ I really like to look out at the green countryside, the waterfalls, and some new houses.

Phrases 'look off outside of' and 'greenery place' are unnatural. Use 'look out at' to indicate viewing something from a window. 'Green countryside' or 'greenery' are better noun choices. Also use commas to separate list items. Suggestion: use common collocations like 'look out at' and natural nouns ('countryside', 'greenery').

× And the animals like deers are so rude.

✓ And animals like deer are so rude.

'Deer' is the same in singular and plural; 'deers' is incorrect. Also 'the animals' is unnecessary if speaking generally. Suggestion: use correct plural forms (deer) and omit unnecessary articles for general statements.

× Yeah, I have a long journey with my family as a child when I was home in a city, uh, of the South city of the country, Nepal, Nepal, Kathmandu, and I was literally live in a village and that was the long journey of family.

✓ Yes, I had a long journey with my family when I was a child. I lived in a village and we went to the southern city, Kathmandu, which was a long trip for the family.

The speaker mixes present perfect 'have' with past-time 'as a child' and uses incorrect verb forms ('was literally live'). Use simple past 'had' and 'lived' to describe past events. Also reorganize for clarity: specify child-time, location (village to city), and correct place names. Suggestion: use simple past for completed past events and ensure verbs agree with tense ('had', 'lived', 'went').

× It made this city.

✓ That was the reason we came to the city.

'It made this city' is unclear and ungrammatical. The intended meaning appears to be that the journey led to visiting the city or moving to it. Rephrase to a clear sentence expressing cause or result, e.g. 'That was the reason we came to the city.' Suggestion: make causal relationships explicit and use correct verbs to convey meaning.