Travelling— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise, correct grammar and pronunciation, and organize your answer with a clear topic sentence followed by specific supporting details. Avoid repetition and unclear words (e.g., “lesbas”); use linking words (for example, because, so, and therefore) to connect ideas. Keep the answer within 3–4 sentences: state preference, give one clear reason, and give a brief example or consequence. Work on sentence structures: use simple past/present consistently and correct articles (the/a) and plural forms.

예시: I prefer to sit by the window when I travel because I enjoy looking at the scenery. For example, on a train journey I can watch towns and countryside change, which makes the trip more interesting. Therefore, I usually try to book a window seat so I can relax and enjoy the view.

제안: Start with a direct answer, then give one clear, specific memory with organized details. Correct pronouns and tense (e.g., “he” for father), avoid filler words and repetitions, and use linking words (for example, because, so, and then) to sequence events. Clarify unclear phrases (“beneath you or near you” and “she was just advising me”) and focus on one or two vivid details (duration, who was there, what was said) to make the story natural and effective.

예시: Not really, but I remember a long trip with my father when I was 13. He drove me from my primary town to the secondary school, a journey of about five hours, and we talked the whole way. He gave me advice about how to behave at school, which made me feel supported and is a touching memory I still remember.

× When I'm traveling, I really like to travel when I am sitting in the windows in the window rather than in the any other seats because I like to see what is going on outside.

✓ When I'm traveling, I really like to sit in the window seat rather than in any other seat because I like to see what is going on outside.

Error type: present tense and sentence structure problems (ID 6 and 26) but primarily present tense and word choice. The student uses redundant progressive forms ('really like to travel when I am sitting') and incorrect plural/article with 'windows in the window' and 'the any other seats'. Correct phrase is 'sit in the window seat' to express a habitual preference. Remove extra verbs and use 'any other seat' without 'the'. Suggestion: use simple present for habitual actions and standard collocations such as 'window seat'.

× Because for me traveling is to move from one place to another, right?

✓ For me, traveling means moving from one place to another, right?

The original uses an infinitive phrase awkwardly ('is to move'). Use 'means' + gerund ('moving') to define a noun. Also add comma after 'For me'. Suggestion: use 'X means Y' to define or explain a concept.

× So when you travel or when you when you are in the lesbas or aeroplane, you need to see like what the difference between 1 pass on one part and and another.

✓ So when you travel, whether by bus or aeroplane, you need to see the differences between one place and another.

Errors include incorrect word choice ('lesbas' instead of 'bus'), repetition, and poor noun phrase structure. Use 'whether by bus or aeroplane' to present alternatives. 'Differences between one place and another' is the correct noun phrase. Suggestion: avoid repetition and use correct transport vocabulary.

× So to real to really see that you. To see what is going on out.

✓ So to really see that, to see what is going on outside.

Fragmented sentences and awkward word order. Combine fragments into a single clause and correct 'out' to 'outside'. Suggestion: ensure each sentence has a subject and verb; avoid sentence fragments.

× Not really. But I remember when I was 13, so I was, I was going to school, so from my primary school, secondary school.

✓ Not really. But I remember when I was 13; I was going to school, from primary to secondary school.

Awkward repetition and comma splices. Use past tense 'I was going' but reduce filler repetitions. Use punctuation to join related ideas. Suggestion: remove unnecessary repeated phrases and use clear chronological phrasing.

× So I went with my father there.

✓ So I went there with my father.

Word order is possible but sounds unnatural. Place 'there' after verb or at end: 'went there with my father' or 'went with my father' depending on emphasis. Suggestion: use natural English word order: subject + verb + object + adjunct.

× And of course it was my first day to travel with my father for that long journey around maybe five hours and was so interesting because you have your father like beneath you or near you, which was so cold.

✓ And of course it was my first time traveling with my father on such a long journey, about five hours, and it was very interesting because my father was sitting next to me, which felt very comforting.

Multiple errors: article and noun choice ('first day' -> 'first time'), verb forms, unclear phrase 'beneath you or near you' and 'which was so cold' (wrong modifier). Use 'first time' for experience, 'traveling' gerund, 'about five hours' for duration, and clarify 'sitting next to me' and appropriate adjective 'comforting' instead of 'cold'. Suggestion: restructure sentence to express meaning clearly and use proper noun phrases and modifiers.

× Talking about several story and and she was just advising me how I should behave at school.

✓ She was telling several stories and advising me how I should behave at school.

Pronoun and verb usage issues: 'Talking about several story' is a fragment and has plural mismatch. Change to full clause 'She was telling several stories' and link it to advising. Suggestion: use complete clauses and match plural nouns ('stories').

× Yeah, it has one of the touching memories that I have.

✓ Yes, it is one of the most touching memories I have.

Incorrect use of 'has' and article; use 'is one of the most touching memories I have' to express that something belongs to a set of memories. Also use superlative 'most touching' for emphasis. Suggestion: use 'one of the' + plural noun and appropriate adjective form.