Travelling— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Improve clarity, grammar and vocabulary. Correct errors (e.g. “fresh years” → “fresh air”, “beautiful scenery” not “look beautiful scenery”), use a clear topic sentence then 1–2 supporting details, and avoid repetition. Add linking words to connect ideas (for example, “because” and “so”). Keep to no more than 3–4 sentences.

예시: I usually prefer a window seat when travelling because I can enjoy the view and get some fresh air. For example, on long journeys I like watching the landscape change, which helps me relax and pass the time more pleasantly.

제안: Fix grammar and repetition, make sentences more natural and coherent. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add specific supporting details (who, why, how long). Use linking words (for example, “because”, “so”, “and”) correctly and avoid repeating words. Check possessives and articles (“when I was a child”, “my sister’s wedding”).

예시: Yes, when I was a child I went on a long 12-hour bus journey with my family to attend my sister’s wedding. Because the trip was so long, we played games, shared stories and food, and I enjoyed spending quality time with my cousins.

× I prefer to sit by the window when travelling because I want some fresh years and I love to look beautiful scenery and the environment.

✓ I prefer to sit by the window when travelling because I want some fresh air and I love to look at the beautiful scenery and the environment.

Errors: 'fresh years' is incorrect noun choice and pluralization; correct phrase is 'fresh air'. 'beautiful scenery' needs the determiner 'the' and the verb 'look' requires the preposition 'at' when referring to scenery. Suggestion: Use accurate nouns ('air' not 'years'), include articles where needed ('the beautiful scenery'), and use correct verb+preposition combinations ('look at').

× I feel relaxed and comfortable sitting in the window for the long journey.

✓ I feel relaxed and comfortable sitting by the window for the long journey.

Error: 'sitting in the window' is incorrect preposition use; correct idiom is 'sitting by the window' or 'in the window seat'. Also 'the long journey' is acceptable if a specific journey is meant. Suggestion: Use 'by the window' to indicate location beside the window or 'in the window seat' for the seat itself.

× When I was child I had a long journey with my family.

✓ When I was a child I took a long journey with my family.

Errors: Missing article 'a' before 'child'. 'Had a long journey' is awkward; native phrasing uses 'took a long journey' or 'went on a long journey'. Tense: past is correct but verb choice can be improved. Suggestion: Include articles and choose natural collocations ('was a child', 'took a long journey').

× We went down by bus and it took about 12 hours to reach there.

✓ We went by bus and it took about 12 hours to get there.

Errors: 'went down by bus' is unnatural; simply 'went by bus' or 'travelled by bus' is correct. 'Reach there' is non-idiomatic; use 'get there' or 'reach our destination'. Suggestion: Use common phrasal verbs ('get there') and avoid unnecessary words like 'down' unless context requires it.

× We went there for our sisters wedding.

✓ We went there for our sister's wedding.

Errors: Missing apostrophe to show possession: 'sisters' should be 'sister's' if referring to one sister. If plural, 'our sisters' weddings' would be different. Suggestion: Use the possessive apostrophe for events belonging to someone ('sister's wedding').

× I enjoyed the trip because because I got the chance to meet my cousin, shared stories and food and spend quality time with them.

✓ I enjoyed the trip because I got the chance to meet my cousins, share stories and food, and spend quality time with them.

Errors: Repeated 'because because' is a typo. If meeting more than one cousin, use plural 'cousins'; if only one, keep 'my cousin' and 'him/her' for pronoun. Parallelism error: after 'got the chance to', verbs should be in base form: 'share', 'eat' (or 'have food') and 'spend'. The original mixes past tense 'shared' with base forms, breaking parallel structure. Suggestion: Remove duplicate words, maintain parallel verb forms after 'got the chance to' (use base infinitive without 'to' when following 'chance to' you keep 'to' then base 'share' — here 'got the chance to meet... and to share...': simpler is 'got the chance to meet my cousins, share stories and food, and spend quality time with them').