Travelling— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, reduce filler words (umm, gonna), correct grammar (e.g. "I prefer sitting by the window"), and use linking words for clarity. Add one or two specific details (what you like to see or a brief example) and keep it under five sentences. For example, replace vague phrases like "very special opportunity" with specific reasons such as "watching landscapes" or "taking photos of clouds and coastlines."

예시: I prefer to sit by the window when I travel. It lets me watch the changing landscapes and take photos of coastlines and cloud formations. Also, having a window seat feels more relaxing because I can control the shade and enjoy uninterrupted views throughout the flight.

제안: Clarify time reference and be specific: avoid contradictions ("when I was a child" vs "three years ago") and remove filler words. Start with a clear topic sentence about whether you had long journeys as a child, then give one or two concrete details (how long the trip was, places visited, a memorable moment). Use linking words (for example, "for instance", "during that trip") to make the answer coherent and keep it within five sentences.

예시: Yes, I had a long family trip when I was a child. For example, we traveled to Tokyo for about two weeks and visited temples, museums, and amusement parks. I especially remember exploring a busy street market with my parents, which showed me new foods and traditions and made the trip very memorable.

× Yeah, I do prefer sitting by the window when travelling abroad because I'm gonna say very special opportunity for you to look at different, umm, spectacular view when you're on the airplane and you can take a lot of pictures to make some precious memory about the trip.

✓ Yeah, I prefer sitting by the window when travelling abroad because it's a very special opportunity to look at different spectacular views from the airplane, and you can take a lot of pictures to make precious memories of the trip.

Errors and corrections: 'I do prefer sitting' is awkward; native speakers usually say 'I prefer sitting' (remove unnecessary auxiliary). 'I'm gonna say' is incorrect for expressing a fact — use 'it's' or 'it is' to state 'it is a very special opportunity' (There be/verb usage; mapped to clear phrasing). 'spectacular view' should be plural 'spectacular views' because 'different' implies multiple views (singular/plural issue). 'from the airplane' is a more natural prepositional phrase than 'on the airplane' for viewing scenery, and 'make some precious memory about the trip' should be 'make precious memories of the trip' (article/quantifier and preposition use). Suggestions: 1) Avoid unnecessary auxiliaries like 'do' unless for emphasis. 2) Replace spoken fillers ('gonna','umm') with appropriate formal phrases in test answers. 3) Match singular/plural (views/memories) to context and use natural prepositions ('from','of').

× Yeah, we did have a very long journey when I was a child and I think it was three years ago and me and my parents, umm, travelled to Japan, Tokyo and we visited a lot of places and it's a very, umm, engaging, uh, experience, I would say.

✓ Yes, we had a very long journey when I was a child; I think it was three years ago. My parents and I travelled to Tokyo, Japan, and we visited a lot of places. It was a very engaging experience, I would say.

Errors and corrections: 'we did have' is unnecessary emphatic past; use simple past 'we had' (past tense issue). The clause 'I think it was three years ago and me and my parents, umm, travelled' mixes subjects and pronoun case: use 'my parents and I' not 'me and my parents' (pronoun use; mapped to correct phrasing). 'Japan, Tokyo' order is okay but 'Tokyo, Japan' is more natural. 'it's a very...experience' refers to a past trip, so use past 'It was a very engaging experience' (tense consistency). Suggestions: 1) Use simple past for completed past events. 2) Use subject pronoun order 'X and I' for subjects. 3) Keep tense consistent across sentences describing the same past event.