Travelling— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct grammatical errors. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition (e.g., saying bus, car, plane repeatedly) and incorrect phrases like "see the wall through the window" and verb forms (use "when I travel").

예시: Yes. I usually look out of the window when I travel because new scenery helps me relax. For example, I enjoy watching changing landscapes like farmland or city skylines, and seeing these views makes long journeys feel shorter.

제안: Give a clear topic sentence and then one specific reason with a linking word. Remove fillers like "uh" and avoid repetition. Correct grammar ("the views I see are very beautiful") and tighten the structure to two or three sentences.

예시: Yes, I sometimes take photos of the scenery outside the window because I want to remember beautiful moments. For instance, when I see colorful sunsets or interesting buildings I take a quick photo to look back on later.

제안: Provide a direct opinion sentence ("I prefer the mountains") and then support it with specific reasons using linking words. Fix grammar (use "prefer" not "am profound", plural agreement, and correct verb forms). Keep answers under five sentences and avoid redundancy.

예시: I prefer the mountains because the air is cooler and the scenery is more peaceful. For example, hiking on mountain trails helps me relax and I enjoy the fresh smells of pine and wide views from the peaks.

× Yes, I usually look out the landscape or surroundings when I traveling by bus or car or even a plane because I want to see the wall through the window while I'm traveling and it keep me fresh.

✓ Yes, I usually look out at the landscape or surroundings when I am traveling by bus, car, or even a plane because I want to see the world through the window while I'm traveling and it keeps me feeling refreshed.

Errors: missing auxiliary 'am' before the present participle 'traveling' (use present continuous), incorrect preposition 'out the landscape' (should be 'out at the landscape' or 'at the landscape'), 'wall' is likely a wrong word choice for 'world', and subject-verb agreement 'it keep' should be 'it keeps'. Suggestions: Use 'I am traveling' for ongoing action, use 'look out at' or 'look at', choose correct noun ('world' or 'view'), and make verbs agree with singular subject 'it keeps'.

× Yes, I take photos of scenery outside the window sometimes I sometimes the views I see in is very beautiful and I like to keep that moment in the photo, uh, so I can see the photo and I remember that.

✓ Yes, I take photos of the scenery outside the window sometimes because the views I see are very beautiful and I like to keep that moment in a photo so I can look at it and remember it.

Errors: missing conjunction or punctuation between clauses ('sometimes I sometimes' is fragmented), incorrect article usage 'photos of scenery' should be 'photos of the scenery', verb agreement 'the views I see in is' should be 'the views I see are', and awkward phrasing 'keep that moment in the photo' improved to 'keep that moment in a photo'. Suggestions: Add linking words or punctuation, use the definite article 'the' for specific scenery, ensure subject-verb agreement (plural 'views' -> 'are'), and simplify phrasing for clarity.

× I'm profound mountains because the atmosphere around the mountains feels like very cool and and the view are so refreshing and relaxing for me and so I enjoying the to travel mountains.

✓ I prefer mountains because the atmosphere around them feels very cool, and the views are so refreshing and relaxing for me, so I enjoy traveling to the mountains.

Errors: incorrect word 'profound' should be 'prefer' (wrong word choice), pronoun usage 'around the mountains' then 'the view are' should be 'the views are' (plural agreement), 'I enjoying the to travel mountains' has incorrect verb form and word order; use 'I enjoy traveling to the mountains'. Suggestions: Use the correct verb 'prefer' to express preference, keep noun-pronoun references consistent ('them' or repeat 'mountains'), ensure plural agreement 'views are', and use base verb after subject ('I enjoy') with gerund 'traveling' and preposition 'to' for destination.