Travelling— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and structured. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details. Avoid filler words (uh) and repetition. Use a linking word to connect ideas (for example, 'also' or 'and').

예시: Yes — I usually sit by the window to enjoy the view. For example, I love watching sunsets because the colours are beautiful, and I also read signboards to learn about places we pass.

제안: Give a direct topic sentence then one specific detail about when and why you take photos. Remove hesitations and unclear words. Use a linking word (for example, 'especially' or 'when') to connect ideas and be more precise about what you photograph.

예시: Yes, I often take photos of landscapes when I travel. For example, when I visit hilly areas I especially photograph mountains and sunsets because the light and perspective look dramatic from high up.

제안: Answer directly and confidently with one clear preference, then give a specific reason. Avoid hesitation and fragmented phrases. Use a linking word to contrast (for example, 'however' or 'but') if you mention both options.

예시: I prefer the mountains. Although I like the sea sometimes, I feel uncomfortable with sand, so I usually choose mountainous areas for hiking and quiet scenery.

× Yes, I usually prefer to sit near the window seat and love to see and enjoy the landscapes and especially the sunsets.

✓ Yes, I usually prefer to sit in the window seat and love to see and enjoy the landscapes, especially the sunsets.

Use 'in the window seat' (preposition choice) and remove repeated 'and'. The original had a slight preposition/more natural phrasing issue; use 'in' for seat position and place 'especially' with the noun it modifies. Note: This suggestion addresses pronoun-like/phrase usage and preposition naturalness.

× I love the sunsets uh, very, very much.

✓ I love sunsets very, very much.

Omit the definite article 'the' when speaking generally about sunsets. Also remove filler 'uh'. Use plural 'sunsets' when speaking generally.

× And I also notice all the uh signboards and read them as well.

✓ I also notice all the signboards and read them.

Remove filler 'uh' and redundant 'as well'. Use clear pronoun 'them' is acceptable, but repeating 'and' + 'as well' is redundant. This improves fluency and reduces pronoun repetition.

× Yes, absolutely. I love to take photos of the Cindy different landscapes When I go to the uh, hilly areas, I capture the uh mountains as well and the sunsets as well.

✓ Yes, absolutely. I love to take photos of different landscapes. When I go to hilly areas, I capture the mountains and the sunsets.

Remove the erroneous word 'Cindy' and filler 'uh'. Split into two clear sentences. Use plural 'hilly areas' without article and avoid repeating 'as well'. This fixes sentence structure, extraneous words, and redundancy.

× They are so beautiful to see from that height.

✓ They are beautiful to see from that height.

Remove 'so' if you want a more neutral statement; otherwise it's acceptable. The main issue is style rather than grammar; sentence is otherwise correct.

× Are you in my According to me, I prefer both.

✓ According to me, I prefer both.

Remove the fragment 'Are you in my' which is ungrammatical. Start the sentence with 'According to me' or better 'For me'.

× It's depend upon my mood, but more I prefer the mountains because the sea.

✓ It depends on my mood, but I generally prefer the mountains over the sea.

Use third person singular present 'depends' (subject 'it') and correct preposition 'on'. Rephrase for natural comparison: 'prefer X over Y'. Remove incomplete clause 'because the sea'.

× I also prefer sea, but the sand and that irritates me very much that, uh, that's why I, uh, prefer more, uh, mountains, hilly areas.

✓ I also like the sea, but the sand irritates me a lot, so I prefer mountains and hilly areas.

Make the sentence coherent: use 'like' for general preference, add subject for 'irritates' and use 'a lot' instead of 'very much' for smoother flow. Remove filler 'uh' and redundant words. This fixes sentence structure and subject-verb clarity.