Travelling— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be clearer and more natural: start with a direct topic sentence, avoid contradictions and incorrect words (e.g., 'afraid' likely wrong), limit to under five sentences, and add a specific example with a linking word. Use precise vocabulary (e.g., 'soothed' or 'calm') and correct grammar (traveling → travelling if using British spelling).

예시: Yes, I usually look out of the window when I travel by car because I enjoy watching the landscape. For example, mountain lakes and forested hills often catch my eye and help me feel calm after a busy day. In addition, I sometimes take a few photos to remember the view.

제안: Make your answer more natural and grammatically correct: give a clear reason and avoid awkward phrasing ('vertical and horizontal pictured' and 'moreover'). Use linking words like 'because' or 'so' and provide a brief example of what you photograph. Keep it within three sentences.

예시: Yes, I often take photos through the car window because I like to capture different compositions, such as tall trees in portrait mode and wide coastal views in landscape mode. For instance, I recently photographed a long beach at sunset in landscape format.

제안: Give a concise topic sentence and complete your supporting detail without trailing off. Avoid repetition and finish your sentence about the tranquil atmosphere. Add a brief reason or a personal example with a linking word like 'because' or 'for example.'

예시: I prefer the sea, especially the beach at Ryong Point, because the sound of waves and the open horizon help me relax. For example, I often go there in the evening to sit on the sand and read a book while listening to the waves.

× I usually look out at the window when I am traveling by car because I love capturing breathtaking views such as mountain lakes, and some said these views make me feel more relaxed and afraid after a long day at work.

✓ I usually look out of the window when I am traveling by car because I love capturing breathtaking views such as mountain lakes, and some say these views make me feel more relaxed and refreshed after a long day at work.

Problems: incorrect preposition with 'look out' (should be 'look out of the window' or 'look out the window'), inconsistent tense/voice 'some said' should be present 'some say' to match general statement, incorrect word 'afraid' doesn't fit context — likely 'refreshed' or 'calm'. Suggestions: use 'look out of the window' for clarity, keep general truths in present simple ('some say'), and choose an adjective that matches relaxation (e.g., 'refreshed' or 'calm').

× Yes, I do. I usually take photos of the scenery outside the car because I want to capture both vertical and horizontal pictured moreover.

✓ Yes, I do. I usually take photos of the scenery outside the car because I want to capture both vertical and horizontal pictures.

Problems: wrong word 'pictured' should be 'pictures' (noun) and extraneous 'moreover' at sentence end is misplaced. Suggestions: use correct noun 'pictures' and place connectors like 'moreover' at sentence start or remove if unnecessary. Also consider 'outside the car window' for clarity.

× Personally, I prefer the sea, particularly the sea in Ryong Point, because I love sitting by the beach and listening to the sound of waves, which helps me to unwind after a long day at work. Moreover, I love the tranquil atmosphere when I.

✓ Personally, I prefer the sea, particularly the sea at Ryong Point, because I love sitting on the beach and listening to the sound of the waves, which helps me unwind after a long day at work. Moreover, I love the tranquil atmosphere there.

Problems: preposition 'in Ryong Point' should be 'at Ryong Point', 'by the beach' can be 'on the beach' for sitting, 'the sound of waves' needs 'the' before 'waves', unnecessary 'to' after 'helps me' removed ('helps me unwind'), and sentence fragment 'when I.' is incomplete. Suggestions: fix prepositions, include articles where needed, and replace fragment with a complete clause such as 'there' or 'when I am there'.