Travelling— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Reduce redundancy and correct small errors; start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid unrelated or unclear phrases (e.g., "getting a merchant"). Keep answers concise (max 5 sentences).

예시: Yes, I usually look out the window when I travel by bus or car because it helps me relax. For example, I enjoy watching changing landscapes and small villages passed along the road, and I often listen to music at the same time to enhance the mood. This combination helps me unwind and reflect.

제안: Begin with a direct topic sentence, then explain reasons with clear linking words and correct grammar. Use specific examples and avoid long, clumsy clauses. Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

예시: I prefer taking videos rather than photos when travelling by car because videos capture motion and atmosphere better. For instance, a short clip can show how the light moves across the fields and record ambient sounds, which a single photo cannot. Therefore videos preserve both the scene and the feeling of the moment.

제안: Answer directly with your preference or explain that you like both, then provide specific reasons and a contrast using linking words. Avoid repeating similar adjectives; give concrete examples or comparisons to support your point.

예시: I find it hard to choose because I enjoy both, but if I had to pick I would choose the mountains. The mountains offer fresh air, hiking trails and panoramic viewpoints where I can be active, whereas the sea is better for relaxation and watching sunsets. Both are peaceful, but I prefer the physical challenge and views of the mountains.

× Yes, I do look out the window and I think it is the best part of traveling by bus or by car because you get an opportunity to enjoy the views, listening to the music, getting a merchant, your own thoughts. It can be really relaxing and enjoyable.

✓ Yes, I do look out the window and I think it is the best part of traveling by bus or car because you get an opportunity to enjoy the views, listen to music, reflect on your own thoughts. It can be really relaxing and enjoyable.

The sentence mixes parallel activities using different forms. After 'you get an opportunity to' the verbs should be in the base form (infinitive without to) or a consistent form. 'Listening to the music, getting a merchant, your own thoughts' is incorrect: 'listening' and 'getting' break parallelism and 'getting a merchant' is nonsensical. Use parallel base verbs: 'enjoy the views, listen to music, reflect on your own thoughts.' This keeps grammatical parallel structure and clarity. Suggestion: keep verb forms parallel and ensure each item is meaningful.

× I actually prefer taking videos because take a good quality photo from the moving vehicle is something that requires skill from you while making a video helps you to capture the moment better and also the feeling you had in this moment.

✓ I actually prefer taking videos because taking a good-quality photo from a moving vehicle requires skill, while making a video helps you capture the moment better and also the feelings you had at that moment.

The sentence has several issues: missing gerund for the first clause ('take a good quality photo' should be 'taking a good-quality photo') and inconsistent structure around 'while making a video helps you to capture...'. Use gerunds consistently for activities: 'taking' and 'making.' Remove unnecessary 'to' after 'helps you' and hyphenate 'good-quality.' Change 'feeling you had in this moment' to 'feelings you had at that moment' for natural phrasing. Suggestion: maintain consistent gerund forms and cleaner clause connections.

× It is actually a tough question to answer because both mountains and sea offer you different lights and both can provide you with calmness and quietness and many picturesque views.

✓ It is actually a tough question to answer because both the mountains and the sea offer different light, and both can provide calmness, quiet, and many picturesque views.

There are article and word choice issues and awkward noun forms. Use definite articles 'the mountains' and 'the sea' when speaking about these categories in general contexts. 'Offer you different lights' is odd; 'different light' or 'different kinds of light' is better. 'Quietness' is correct but 'quiet' is more natural here. Also reduce repeated 'both' and use commas to separate items. Suggestion: use appropriate articles, choose natural noun forms, and simplify parallel lists for clarity.