Travelling— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct grammatical errors. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid redundancy (e.g., “whenever when” and “a car”).

예시: Yes, definitely. I often look out the window when I travel by bus or car because I enjoy seeing changing landscapes. For example, when I was a child I loved watching countryside fields and rivers pass by, which made long trips feel shorter.

제안: Avoid filler words and repetition. Give a direct answer, then a specific reason and an example using linking words (e.g., “so”, “for example”). Keep to 2–4 sentences and correct word order: “I occasionally take photos” rather than “definitely occasionally”.

예시: Yes, I occasionally take photos of scenery outside the window, especially when we cross bridges or pass striking natural views. For example, I often photograph river valleys and mountain ridges because the light and perspective change quickly and look impressive in photos.

제안: Answer directly and correct grammar and word choice. Use one clear reason and a brief supporting detail. Avoid hesitation words like “uh” and redundant phrases such as “would like to prefer”.

예시: I prefer the mountains because they offer more varied scenery and viewpoints. For instance, hiking up a trail gives panoramic views from different angles, which I find more interesting than the flat horizon of the sea.

× When I was a child, I usually was doing this activity whenever when I was traveling by bus or a car because the scenery was outstanding it.

✓ When I was a child, I usually did this activity whenever I traveled by bus or by car because the scenery was outstanding.

Errors: incorrect use of past continuous 'was doing' with 'usually' (habit in past should use simple past), redundant 'whenever when', unnecessary article 'a' before 'car' in this context, and extraneous 'it' at the end. Suggestion: use simple past 'did' for habitual past actions, use either 'whenever' or 'when' (not both), and remove extra words for clarity; use 'by car' without 'a'.

× And definitely occasionally I like to do this when I pass through the bridges, bridges and pass through the natural views.

✓ I definitely like to do this occasionally when I pass over bridges or when I pass natural landscapes.

Errors: adverbs 'definitely' and 'occasionally' conflict and are misplaced; repetition 'bridges, bridges' and awkward phrase 'pass through the natural views'. Suggestion: choose appropriate adverb order ('definitely' changes meaning so use one adverb), place adverb before main verb if needed, say 'pass over bridges' or 'cross bridges' and 'natural landscapes' for clearer English.

× So these kind of things attract me to take a photo.

✓ These kinds of things attract me to take photos.

Errors: 'these kind of' should be 'these kinds of' or 'this kind of', and 'attract me to take a photo' is awkward; use 'attract me to' rarely—better 'make me want to take photos' or 'attract me to take photos'. Suggestion: correct agreement in 'these kinds of' and use plural 'photos' for habitual action; consider rephrasing to 'make me want to take photos'.

× So usually I do this in this scenario.

✓ So usually I do this in that situation.

Errors: repetition 'this' twice and awkward 'scenario' choice; 'this scenario' is vague. Suggestion: use 'that situation' or 'those circumstances' to refer back, and avoid repeating 'this'.

× I think both of them are have a significant role in our lives, but I would like to prefer a mountain because the mountain provide us the more scenery with the different angles.

✓ I think both have a significant role in our lives, but I would prefer the mountains because they provide more scenery from different angles.

Errors: 'are have' is incorrect (both 'are' and 'have' used), 'would like to prefer' is redundant—use 'would prefer' or 'would like', singular/plural mismatch 'the mountain provide' should be 'they provide', and awkward 'the more scenery with the different angles'. Suggestion: remove extra verb, use proper verb for preference, ensure subject-verb agreement, and use 'from different angles' for clarity.

× So if uh we are looking for a natural views.

✓ So if we are looking for natural views, ...

Errors: 'uh' filler should be removed in formal corrected sentence; 'a natural views' mixes singular article 'a' with plural 'views'. Also sentence is a fragment; it needs completion or connection to previous sentence. Suggestion: remove filler, match article and noun number ('natural views' without 'a'), and complete the sentence (for example: 'So if we are looking for natural views, I would choose the mountains.').