Building— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be clear and accurate. Start with a direct topic sentence, avoid incorrect words (e.g., “toy buildings”, “small in Asia”), use linking words to add one specific detail (location or a famous building) and one reason or description. Keep it within 2–3 concise sentences.

예시: Yes, there are some tall buildings near my home. For example, the WTP tower, one of the most well-known buildings in the area, stands close by and several old, historic buildings are also nearby because this neighbourhood has an important heritage.

제안: Be specific and concise. Open with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details (what you photograph, where, and why), avoid repetitive phrasing (e.g., “royal royalty”, “old jello”). Use linking words like ‘because’ or ‘for example’.

예시: Yes, I enjoy photographing buildings. For example, I often take pictures of vintage palaces and havelis in Jaipur because the city is famous for its heritage architecture and colourful façades.

제안: Be precise and avoid vague phrases. Start with a direct answer naming the place, then add two specific reasons why you want to visit (architecture features, activities). Use linking words like ‘because’ or ‘so’ and correct collocations (e.g., ‘historic building’, ‘enjoy the sunset’).

예시: Yes, I would like to visit Hawa Mahal in Jaipur because it is a historic building with distinctive lattice windows and delicate stonework. I want to photograph its façade and watch the sunset from the nearby square.

제안: Answer directly then give a clear explanation. Say whether you would live there, then add one or two specific reasons (view, convenience, noise) and clarify duration concisely. Avoid fillers like “uh” and repetition.

예시: Yes, I would like to live in a tall building for a short time because I want to enjoy the panoramic views and the modern amenities. However, for long-term living I prefer a smaller house because it is quieter and feels more homely.

× Yes, there are some toy buildings near my home.

✓ Yes, there are some tall buildings near my home.

The student likely meant 'tall' not 'toy'; however this sentence originally has correct plurality 'there are some buildings'. Keep plural 'buildings' with 'there are'. Ensure adjective matches noun: 'tall buildings'.

× One of the most famous small in Asia is situated near my home that is WTP and a further one there are some ancient buildings also which is tall and famous for their help.

✓ One of the most famous small buildings in Asia, WTP, is situated near my home, and there are also some ancient buildings that are tall and famous for their history.

The original sentence has mixed word order, missing nouns, incorrect relative clauses and unclear reference 'for their help'. Reorder to: identify the noun 'buildings', place modifiers ('small') before it, use commas for appositives (WTP), use 'there are also' for additional items, and correct the relative clause to 'that are tall and famous for their history'. Use parallel structure and clear noun references.

× I mostly take pictures of vintage buildings, which is situated in Jaipur, because Jaipur is famous for its heritage and royal royalty.

✓ I mostly take pictures of vintage buildings, which are situated in Jaipur, because Jaipur is famous for its heritage and royalty.

Subject-verb agreement with plural 'buildings' requires 'are' not 'is' (present tense agreement). Also 'royal royalty' is redundant; use 'royalty'. Keep present simple tense for habitual action.

× So I take pictures of the old jello and the old buildings, and I would like to take the pictures.

✓ So I take pictures of the old palaces and the old buildings, and I would like to keep taking such pictures.

'jello' is incorrect word choice—likely 'palace'. Avoid repeating 'the old' unnecessarily; use parallel nouns. 'Would like to take the pictures' is awkward; 'keep taking such pictures' clearly expresses ongoing preference.

× Yes, I really like to visit Hawa Mall which is situated in the city of Jaipur.

✓ Yes, I would really like to visit Hawa Mahal, which is situated in the city of Jaipur.

Proper noun correction: 'Hawa Mahal' (not 'Mall'). Verb phrase 'would really like' is more polite but original tense acceptable; ensure proper noun spelling.

× It is very ancient building and it has very unique architecture which attracts me and I really want to sit there and take pictures and enjoy the sunset view.

✓ It is a very ancient building and it has a unique architecture that attracts me; I really want to sit there, take pictures, and enjoy the sunset view.

Add indefinite article 'a' before singular count noun 'building'. 'Very unique' is commonly considered redundant—'unique' alone suffices, or 'very old' if intensity needed. Use 'that' for defining relative clause and commas to separate ideas. Use parallel verbs 'sit there, take pictures, and enjoy'.

× Yes, but not for a lifetime.

✓ Yes, but not for a lifetime.

Sentence is grammatical; modal sense implied by context. No change needed; kept as original.

× I want to experience and do enjoy the view, the vibe of that building.

✓ I want to experience and enjoy the view and the vibe of that building.

Remove unnecessary 'do' which is unneeded for affirmative statements. Use 'and' between 'view' and 'vibe' for parallel nouns.

× Uh, mostly I like to live in small buildings or home, but just in one.

✓ Mostly I would like to live in a small house, but just once.

'Small buildings or home' is unclear; choose 'a small house' for clarity. Use 'would like' for preference and 'once' to match intended meaning 'just one time'. If meant 'just one house', use 'just one'.

× Just once. I want to experience that life and want to live.

✓ Just once; I want to experience that life and live in such a place.

Short fragment 'Just once.' is acceptable but combine with following clause for fluency. 'Want to live' needs an object or location: 'live in such a place'. Improves clarity and completeness.