Building— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Improve accuracy, grammar and concision. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct small errors (e.g., 'two apartment towers', 'nearby'), avoid redundancy and limit to 3–4 sentences. Add one specific detail and a linking word to connect cause and effect.

예시: Yes, there are several tall buildings near my home. For example, two apartment towers about 15–20 storeys high stand a five-minute walk away, which makes the area feel modern. Consequently, there are many shops and convenient services within walking distance.

제안: Correct vocabulary and phrasing errors and be more specific. Use a clear topic sentence, then add a linked example with accurate terms (e.g., 'colonial mansion' not 'oriented Colonial mention'). Keep within 3–4 concise sentences and explain briefly why you photograph buildings.

예시: Not usually, but I sometimes photograph striking buildings when I travel. For instance, last year I photographed a colonial mansion because I wanted to remember its architectural features and later research its history.

제안: Fix repetitions and word choice, and make sentences more natural and specific. Use proper collocations (e.g., 'architecturally impressive', 'panoramic views') and avoid invented phrases like 'pan Arabic views'. Limit to 2–3 sentences and mention one specific reason why it appeals to you.

예시: Yes, I would love to visit the Burj Khalifa in Dubai because it is famously tall and architecturally impressive. In particular, I want to go to the observation deck to enjoy panoramic views of the city and surrounding desert.

제안: Correct grammar, word choice and clarity. Start with a direct topic sentence, use correct nouns ('good facilities', 'high floors'), fix typos ('higher floors', 'quieter', 'heights'), and give one clear reason. Keep it concise and coherent with a linking word.

예시: Yes, I might live in a tall building if it had good facilities and a nice view. For example, higher floors are usually quieter and offer better cityscapes, but I would avoid extremely high levels because I am afraid of heights.

× For example, 2 apartments towers nearby are about 15 to 20 stories high, which makes the neighborhood feel modern.

✓ For example, two apartment towers nearby are about 15 to 20 stories high, which makes the neighborhood feel modern.

The noun phrase 'apartments towers' incorrectly mixes plural forms. Use 'apartment towers' (plural noun 'towers' with the attributive noun 'apartment') and spell out small numbers in formal writing or speech: 'two apartment towers'. This corrects noun form and number agreement.

× For instance, I photographed an oriented Colonial mention last year because I wanted to remember the architectural details and learn about its history.

✓ For instance, I photographed an ornate Colonial mansion last year because I wanted to remember the architectural details and learn about its history.

The original uses incorrect words 'oriented' and 'mention'. 'Ornate' (adjective) describes detailed decoration and 'mansion' (noun) is the intended building type. The verb 'photographed' is fine in past tense. Replace wrong words with correct vocabulary to convey the intended meaning.

× Yes, I would love to to visit the Burj Khalifa in Dubai because it's famously tall and architectural impressive.

✓ Yes, I would love to visit the Burj Khalifa in Dubai because it's famously tall and architecturally impressive.

There is a repeated word 'to to' which is a typographical error; remove the duplicate. Also 'architectural impressive' uses an adjective where an adverb is needed to modify 'impressive' in relation to architecture; 'architecturally impressive' is correct. The modal 'would love to' is appropriate for this hypothetical desire.

× Yes, I would consider living in the tall buildings, but only if I had a good facilities and a a perfect view.

✓ Yes, I would consider living in tall buildings, but only if I had good facilities and a perfect view.

Use of the definite article 'the' before 'tall buildings' is unnecessary when speaking generally; remove it. 'a good facilities' mixes singular article 'a' with plural 'facilities'—use 'good facilities' (no article) or 'a good facility' if singular. Also remove duplicated 'a a'. These changes fix quantifier and article agreement.

× For example, I hire floors tend to be quitter and offer better cityscapes, but I would avoid extremely high floors because I'm afraid of the hates.

✓ For example, higher floors tend to be quieter and offer better cityscapes, but I would avoid extremely high floors because I'm afraid of heights.

Multiple word-choice and spelling errors: 'hire' should be 'higher' (comparative adjective), 'quitter' should be 'quieter' (comparative of 'quiet'), and 'hates' should be 'heights' (the fear of tall places). 'Higher floors tend to be quieter' correctly compares floors and uses appropriate adjective forms. This fixes adjective forms and spelling to convey the intended meaning.