Building— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a direct topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details. Avoid redundancy and incorrect articles. Use linking words for coherence.

예시: Yes. I live in Shanghai, so there are many tall modern buildings nearby. For example, the Shanghai Tower and other recent skyscrapers dominate the skyline, showing how rapidly the city has developed.

제안: Good content and coherence, but correct grammar and tighten sentences. Use linking words and be specific about when and where you photograph. Keep response within 3–4 sentences.

예시: Yes, I do. I'm a photography enthusiast, so when the weather is good I often take my camera to downtown Shanghai to photograph modern architecture. I especially enjoy shooting at sunset, and sometimes I use the best shots as my phone wallpaper.

제안: Give a clear topic sentence, correct word choice, and add a specific reason. Avoid unclear phrases and grammar errors. Use linking words like 'because' or 'for example'.

예시: Yes, I would like to visit Tokyo Tower because it is a famous landmark that appears in many films and animations. For example, I want to go to the observation deck to enjoy panoramic views of Tokyo and take photos of the city at night.

제안: Start with a clear direct answer and give two well-formed reasons with correct grammar and linking words. Replace vague phrases with specific examples and correct noun-verb agreement.

예시: Not really. Firstly, living in a tall building can be inconvenient because elevators are often crowded and you may have to wait a long time. Secondly, rents for apartments in tall skyscrapers tend to be much higher than for low-rise buildings.

× Yes, of course, since I live in Shanghai, which is the one of the most developed city in China, many modern grand architecture was built this year, including some of the Asia highest buildings such as Shanghai Tower.

✓ Yes, of course. Since I live in Shanghai, which is one of the most developed cities in China, many large modern buildings were built this year, including some of Asia's tallest buildings such as Shanghai Tower.

Errors: incorrect use of the definite article 'the' before 'one of the most developed city' and wrong singular/plural 'city' vs 'cities' (Grammar problem types 17 and 1), awkward noun phrases 'modern grand architecture' and 'Asia highest buildings' and wrong possessive 'Asia's'. Also subject-verb agreement: 'architecture was built' is odd; 'buildings were built' fits. Suggestions: remove 'the' before 'one of', change 'city' to plural 'cities', use 'large modern buildings' or 'grand modern architecture' as a mass noun, change 'Asia highest' to 'Asia's tallest', and ensure plural verb 'were built' matches plural subject 'buildings'.

× Most importantly, I can use a picture I took as my wallpaper, which give me a sense of accomplishment.

✓ Most importantly, I can use a picture I took as my wallpaper, which gives me a sense of accomplishment.

Error: subject-verb agreement (Grammar problem type 27). The relative pronoun 'which' refers to singular 'a picture', so the verb should be 'gives' not 'give'. Suggestion: match verb number to its subject: use 'gives'.

× Well, I would like to visit Tokyo Tower. It is the symbol of a landmark of Tokyo UMM, especially in the show up in some popular animations and films.

✓ Well, I would like to visit Tokyo Tower. It is a symbol and a landmark of Tokyo, especially because it shows up in some popular animations and films.

Errors: incorrect article use and awkward phrasing (Grammar problem type 17 and 26). 'the symbol of a landmark' is incorrect; use 'a symbol and a landmark' or 'a symbol of Tokyo'. 'Tokyo UMM' is unclear and likely wrong proper noun. 'in the show up' is ungrammatical. Suggestions: use 'a symbol and a landmark of Tokyo' and rephrase 'it shows up in' or 'it appears in' popular animations and films.

× So I would like to get into Tokyo Tower and see the beautiful scenery all over the Tokyo city.

✓ So I would like to go up Tokyo Tower and see the beautiful scenery all over Tokyo.

Errors: incorrect verb choice 'get into' and unnecessary article 'the' before 'Tokyo city' (Grammar problem types 10 and 17). 'Get into' implies entering, but to view scenery you 'go up' or 'go to' the tower. 'Tokyo city' is redundant; use 'Tokyo'. Suggestion: use 'go up Tokyo Tower' or 'go to the top of Tokyo Tower' and 'all over Tokyo'.

× Yes, of course, I'm a photography enthusiast. When the weather is fine, I prefer to carry my camera and hang out to take beautiful pictures of the grand modern architecture around Shanghai.

✓ Yes, of course, I'm a photography enthusiast. When the weather is fine, I prefer to carry my camera and hang out to take beautiful pictures of the grand modern architecture around Shanghai.

No correction needed for grammar based on provided list; sentence is acceptable. Note: 'hang out to take' is colloquial but grammatical. Retained original.

× For example, you need to wait a long time when you want to use elevator.

✓ For example, you need to wait a long time when you want to use the elevator.

Error: missing definite article before a specific noun (Grammar problem types 2 and 17). 'Elevator' as a specific facility in the building requires 'the elevator'. Suggestion: add 'the' before 'elevator'.

× Additionally, the house rent fee in tall buildings are much higher than the normal ones.

✓ Additionally, the rent for apartments in tall buildings is much higher than for normal ones.

Errors: awkward noun phrase 'house rent fee' and subject-verb disagreement 'are' with 'fee' (Grammar problem types 14 and 27 and 1). 'House rent fee' should be 'rent' or 'rental fees'; choose consistent countability. Using 'rent' as uncountable takes singular verb 'is'. Also 'the normal ones' is vague; specify 'normal ones' as 'normal buildings' or 'regular buildings'. Suggestion: use 'the rent for apartments in tall buildings is much higher than for regular ones' or 'rental fees in tall buildings are much higher than in regular buildings'.