Building— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Your answer is clear and direct, but slightly short and could be improved by adding one specific detail and a linking phrase to make it more natural and informative. Try to include an example (e.g., number of floors or a nearby landmark) and use a linking word to expand your comment without becoming redundant.

예시: Yes, there are several tall buildings near my home; most are around 8 to 12 storeys high, mainly residential blocks. For example, the apartment complex across the park has ten floors, which makes it stand out in our neighbourhood.

제안: Good content and relevant detail about why you photograph buildings. Improve naturalness by combining short sentences, removing hesitation, and adding a linking word to show frequency and purpose. Also give one specific detail about style or subject to enrich the answer.

예시: Yes, I often photograph buildings as part of my artistic practice. I usually take a walk almost every day and focus on textures and facades, especially interesting windows and doorways.

제안: The idea is good, but hesitations and vague location weaken your response. Be more specific about which building or city and explain why you are drawn to brutalist architecture with one concrete reason or example. Remove filler words and use a linking phrase to connect interest and destination.

예시: There are many buildings I'd like to visit, but I'm especially drawn to brutalist architecture. For instance, I'd love to see the Soviet-era buildings in Moscow or Saint Petersburg because I admire their bold concrete forms and dramatic geometric shapes.

제안: Your answer is concise but could be improved by adding a brief reason and a linking word to give the examiner more information. Mention one advantage or disadvantage (e.g., views, noise, convenience) to make the response more informative and natural.

예시: I don't mind living in a tall building because it often offers great views and convenient amenities; however, I might be concerned about noise from neighbours or long elevator waits during peak hours.

× Yes, I do take photos of buildings. It's actually a part of my artistic practice, so. I take a walk almost every day and take photos of buildings.

✓ Yes, I do take photos of buildings. It's actually a part of my artistic practice, so I take a walk almost every day and photograph buildings.

The original contains an unnecessary sentence fragment 'so.' followed by repetition 'take photos of buildings.' Replace the fragment with 'so I' to connect clauses and use 'photograph buildings' to avoid repetition and improve style. This fixes sentence structure (list item 26) and verb + -ing redundancy (item 8).

× Actually, there are a lot of buildings that I want to visit, but I'm mostly interested in brutal, uh, architecture. So I would love to visit, uh, Russia or somewhere near Russia.

✓ Actually, there are a lot of buildings that I want to visit, but I'm mostly interested in brutalist architecture, so I would love to visit Russia or nearby countries.

The phrase 'brutal, uh, architecture' is disfluent and incorrect: the correct adjective is 'brutalist' to describe the style. Beginning a sentence with 'So' after a comma creates a sentence fragment and informal hesitations 'uh' should be omitted. Also 'somewhere near Russia' is vague; 'nearby countries' is clearer. These changes address sentence structure (26) and incorrect adjective (13).

× So I would love to visit, uh, Russia or somewhere near Russia.

✓ So I would love to visit Russia or countries near it.

Using 'somewhere near Russia' is informal and slightly awkward. 'Countries near it' uses a clearer prepositional structure. This corrects preposition/phrase usage (11) and improves clarity.