Building— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific details. Avoid tense and article errors and reduce redundancy.

예시: Yes. There are several tall skyscrapers near my neighborhood, and I see them on my way to work every day. For example, last week my family and I visited one of these buildings and went up to the 18th floor, where the view of the city was very impressive.

제안: Give a direct topic sentence and one clear reason with a linking word. Remove filler words and clarify the phrase about appearance.

예시: Not usually. I prefer to enjoy the moment without my phone because taking photos distracts me, and I don't want to spend time trying to make every picture look perfect.

제안: Be specific and avoid repetition. Use linking words to connect reasons and add one precise detail about why you want to visit.

예시: Yes. I would like to visit the Eiffel Tower in Paris and the modern skyscrapers in Tokyo because I have seen them often in films; in particular, I want to admire the Eiffel Tower's iron lattice design and Tokyo's futuristic glass facades up close.

제안: Give a clear topic sentence then one or two specific reasons, avoiding fillers and vague adjectives. Explain a concrete benefit of living high up.

예시: Yes, I would like to live in a tall building because the high floors offer panoramic views of the city and less street noise. For example, I would enjoy watching the traffic patterns and city lights from my balcony in the evening.

× Yes, there are so many skyscrapers near my neighborhood.

✓ Yes, there are many skyscrapers near my neighborhood.

'So many' is informal but not incorrect; however 'so many skyscrapers near my neighborhood' can sound exaggerated. Suggest using 'many' for a neutral statement. Also 'near my neighborhood' is redundant; 'in my neighborhood' is more natural. Consider 'There are many skyscrapers in my neighborhood.'

× In fact, when I go to work, I usually see them around.

✓ In fact, when I go to work, I usually see them around.

Sentence is grammatically acceptable. No correction needed. (Included only for completeness.)

× In last week I went with my family to one of them and we went to the 18th floor.

✓ Last week I went with my family to one of them and we went to the 18th floor.

Use 'Last week' rather than 'In last week'. 'In' is not used with past time expressions like 'last week'. Move 'Last week' to the sentence-initial position for naturalness.

× It was nice experience.

✓ It was a nice experience.

This sentence is missing the indefinite article 'a' before the singular noun 'nice experience'. English requires an article with singular countable nouns.

× Usually I don't take any photos of anything because I want to enjoy the moment and not be distracted.

✓ Usually I don't take any photos of anything because I want to enjoy the moment and not be distracted.

Sentence is grammatically correct. No change required.

× Distracted with taking photos and making everything, uh, looks smooth and those kind of things.

✓ I get distracted by taking photos and trying to make everything look smooth, and those kinds of things.

Original is fragmented and ungrammatical. Use 'get distracted by' to show cause. Use gerund 'taking' and infinitive 'to make' or 'trying to make' for parallel structure. 'Those kind of things' should be 'those kinds of things' or 'that kind of thing' for correct noun phrase agreement.

× I wish I could go to the Eiffel Tower in Paris and some modern skyscrapers in Tokyo because I I see them a lot in films and I wish I could see them in person to see their architecture.

✓ I wish I could go to the Eiffel Tower in Paris and to some modern skyscrapers in Tokyo because I see them a lot in films, and I would like to see their architecture in person.

Repeated 'I' is a typo. Add 'to' before 'some modern skyscrapers' for parallelism with 'go to the Eiffel Tower'. Use 'would like' to match wish meaning or keep 'I wish' and change second clause to 'I would like to see their architecture in person' for clarity and natural phrasing. Also remove redundant 'to see'.

× Yes, I would like because when I am at the top of the building, I can see people, the traffic, uh, I can see the whole city in a nice and amazing view.

✓ Yes, I would, because when I am at the top of a building I can see people and traffic; I can see the whole city and enjoy a beautiful view.

Add comma after 'I would' for completeness. Use 'a building' rather than 'the building' for general reference. 'The traffic' can be 'traffic' without article. 'Nice and amazing view' is awkward; use 'beautiful view' or 'a nice, amazing view' and restructure with 'enjoy' to sound natural.