Building— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more accurate and fluent. Avoid filler words ("umm") and incorrect word choices ("wheels and glasses"). Give one clear topic sentence and one brief specific detail using a linking phrase.

예시: Yes, there are many skyscrapers near my home. For example, most are built with glass facades and steel frames, which gives the area a very modern appearance.

제안: Combine your ideas into a single coherent response and use linking words to contrast. Reduce hesitations and be specific about what you like photographing and why.

예시: I usually don't take photos of modern skyscrapers because they look similar, but I often photograph traditional buildings because their details and historical features are more interesting.

제안: Avoid short fragments and finish your sentences. Start with a clear topic sentence and add specific reasons using linking words. Mention particular features you want to see.

예시: Yes, I would like to visit the Forbidden City because it contains many well-preserved ancient buildings. For instance, I want to see the intricate wooden carvings and the imperial halls that show traditional Chinese architecture.

제안: Give a single clear reason and support it with a specific example. Remove repetition and fix sentence structure. Use a linking word to explain your preference.

예시: No, I wouldn't. I prefer living in low-rise buildings because they are more convenient—for example, it's easier to go outside quickly and I can avoid long elevator waits.

× Yes, there are numerous skyscrapers near my home, most of them, umm, made of wheels and glasses, which makes them modern.

✓ Yes, there are numerous skyscrapers near my home; most of them are made of glass and steel, which makes them modern.

The student used incorrect nouns as materials ('wheels' and 'glasses') and omitted the verb 'are' before the participial phrase. This is an adjective/noun word choice error and a sentence structure issue. Use correct material nouns (glass, steel) and include the linking verb 'are' to form a complete passive description. Also replace the comma splice with a semicolon or separate clause for clarity.

× I don't enjoy taking photos of modern skyscrapers or. Buildings.

✓ I don't enjoy taking photos of modern skyscrapers or buildings.

The sentence is broken by an unnecessary period, creating a sentence fragment. This is a sentence structure error. Combine the fragments into a single sentence and remove the misplaced period. If the speaker meant to contrast, use 'but' or restructure: 'I don't enjoy taking photos of modern skyscrapers, but I do take pictures of traditional buildings.'.

× However, when I see some traditional buildings, I would take some pictures of them.

✓ However, when I see traditional buildings, I take pictures of them.

Using 'would' in a general present-habit context is incorrect; habitual actions should use the simple present tense. This is a present tense error. Replace 'would take' with 'take' to indicate a regular or typical action when the student encounters traditional buildings.

× Yes, I would like to visit the Forbidden City because there are many. Ancient buildings which were made by our intelligent ancestors. It's.

✓ Yes, I would like to visit the Forbidden City because there are many ancient buildings that were built by our skilled ancestors.

The student produced multiple sentence fragments and awkward word choices. Fragments ('there are many.' 'Ancient buildings...' 'It's.') must be combined into a complete sentence. Replace 'which were made by our intelligent ancestors' with 'that were built by our skilled ancestors' for natural phrasing. This addresses sentence structure and word choice issues.

× No, I don't think so. I'm not keen on living in tall buildings because I prefer the convenience of short buildings because they I can go.

✓ No, I don't think so. I'm not keen on living in tall buildings because I prefer the convenience of shorter buildings; I can get around more easily.

The sentence contains redundant 'because' clauses, a misplaced word ('they'), and an incomplete idea. This is a sentence structure error. Use 'shorter buildings' for comparative clarity, remove the extra 'because', and complete the thought with a clear reason such as 'I can get around more easily.'