Building— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and accurate: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition and unclear phrases, and give one or two specific supporting details linked logically. Use correct grammar (singular/plural, articles) and avoid filler words like 'like' and unfinished sentences.

예시: Yes, there are several tall buildings near my home. For example, a 32‑storey hospital is only ten minutes away, and a large shopping complex called Fashion Island with adjoining high‑rise apartments is nearby as well.

제안: Start with a direct statement and correct verb forms; give one specific recent example and explain why briefly using linking words. Replace vague phrases like 'modern stars' with accurate descriptions (e.g. 'modern styles' or 'contemporary designs').

예시: Yes, I often photograph buildings because I work as a photographer. For instance, on my recent trip to Japan I captured many structures where traditional Japanese elements blend with contemporary design, which I found visually striking.

제안: Be clear and use correct verbs and vocabulary: say 'visit the Tokyo Skytree'. Limit to one or two concise sentences: give a reason and one specific detail. Avoid repetitive or unclear descriptions.

예시: I would like to visit the Tokyo Skytree in Japan because it is one of the tallest towers in the world and offers panoramic views. I am especially interested in its lattice design and the observation deck at the top.

제안: Give a clear topic sentence stating your preference, then add one or two specific reasons using linking words. Correct grammar (avoid repetition like 'mean mean') and use precise words such as 'privacy' and 'noise' or 'shared facilities'.

예시: I prefer living in a house rather than a tall building because I value privacy and quieter surroundings. In tall buildings you often share walls and facilities with many neighbours, which can be noisy and less private.

× Near my homes, there are a lot of tall buildings.

✓ Near my home, there are a lot of tall buildings.

The noun 'home' should be singular here because the speaker refers to their single place of residence; 'homes' (plural) is incorrect in this context. Use 'my home' for one location. Suggestion: use singular nouns when speaking about one specific place.

× For example, there is a hospital with like 32 floors, so it's a very tall building.

✓ For example, there is a hospital with about 32 floors, so it's a very tall building.

The structure 'there is' is fine, but 'like' is informal and ambiguous. Replace with 'about' for approximate numbers. Ensure 'there is' agrees with a singular noun 'a hospital'.

× Furthermore, there's a shop called Fashion Island and the Promenade.

✓ Furthermore, there are shops called Fashion Island and the Promenade.

The original lists two places, so plural 'there are' should be used. Use 'there are' with plural nouns. Also use 'shops' if both are shops/places; if one is an area, use 'places'.

× It's a big amusement park near my home.

✓ There's a big amusement park near my home.

This sentence is grammatically acceptable, but for consistency with question about nearby buildings, beginning with 'There's' or 'It is' both work. I suggest 'There's a big amusement park near my home.' to match 'there are' patterns used earlier.

× And also that is.

✓ And that's all.

Original fragment 'And also that is.' is incomplete and unclear. 'That's all' or 'And that's it' completes the idea. Use a complete clause to finish the thought.

× As I'm a photographer, I usually take photos of the buildings.

✓ As I'm a photographer, I usually take photos of buildings.

The phrase 'of the buildings' implies specific buildings previously mentioned; 'of buildings' is more natural for a general habit. This is a usage choice rather than strict grammar error; adjust article usage for general statements.

× The latest photos that I took was when I was in Japan, I took a lot of buildings because I think that the architecture was amazing.

✓ The latest photos that I took were when I was in Japan; I photographed many buildings because I thought the architecture was amazing.

Subject-verb agreement: 'photos' (plural) requires 'were' not 'was'. Also 'took a lot of buildings' is incorrect; use 'photographed many buildings'. Tense consistency: past actions should use past tense 'thought' for the speaker's opinion at that time.

× It was a mixture of Japanese style and modern stars.

✓ It was a mixture of Japanese style and modern styles.

'Modern stars' is incorrect and nonsensical here; likely intended 'modern styles'. Use the noun that matches context. Ensure parallel structure: 'Japanese style and modern style' or 'Japanese and modern styles'.

× I would like to reset the Tokyo Skytree in Japan, because I think that this building was quite an enormous building and a very elegant building with its structures, the tall structures, buildings and the sharpen on the most the tallest structures of it.

✓ I would like to visit the Tokyo Skytree in Japan because I think this building is very large and elegant, with tall, impressive structures.

'Reset' is incorrect; use 'visit'. The clause used past tense 'was' but speaking of a building's present attributes requires present 'is'. The original repeats words and has unclear phrases like 'sharpen on the most the tallest structures'; simplify to 'tall, impressive structures'. Ensure concise, clear description and correct verb choice.

× I would prefer living in my house rather than a tall building because in my opinion I think a tall building is going to be like the hotels or the condominiums.

✓ I would prefer living in my house rather than in a tall building because, in my opinion, a tall building is similar to a hotel or a condominium.

Use 'in a tall building' to show location. 'Going to be like' is informal and awkward; 'is similar to' is clearer. Remove redundant 'I think' after 'in my opinion'. Maintain consistent noun forms: 'hotel' and 'condominium' singular or plural consistently.

× So I want to have some privacy because living in tall buildings mean mean that you need to live with other people, so I might feel inconvenient.

✓ So I want to have some privacy because living in tall buildings means that you need to live with other people, so I might feel uncomfortable.

Subject-verb agreement: 'living in tall buildings' (singular gerund phrase treated as singular) requires 'means' not 'mean'. Remove duplicated 'mean'. 'Feel inconvenient' is incorrect collocation; use 'feel uncomfortable' or 'feel inconvenienced'. Use natural adjective for emotions.