Building— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and fluent: avoid filler words (uh) and repetition, state a clear topic sentence then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Keep it within 2–4 sentences.

예시: Yes — I live in the city centre, so there are many tall office and residential buildings nearby. For example, a cluster of glass skyscrapers stands next to the main shopping street, and several residential towers overlook the river.

제안: Clarify and streamline your response: remove unclear phrases and give a specific reason and one example. Use linking words (because, for example) and limit length to 2–3 sentences.

예시: Yes, I often photograph buildings because I enjoy architectural details. For example, I usually take pictures of old houses with French windows in my neighbourhood to preserve their unique designs.

제안: Make your answer more fluent and specific: start with a clear topic sentence, give a reason why you want to visit and a concrete plan. Avoid repetition and grammatical errors.

예시: Yes. There is a museum near my home that I would like to visit because it houses unique sculptures and local artifacts. I plan to go there with friends next month so we can explore the exhibits and learn more about the town's history.

× I live in the center of the city and there are numerous uh, buildings used for used as offices or for living purposes by uh, the city dwellers.

✓ I live in the center of the city, and there are numerous buildings used as offices or as residences by the city dwellers.

The original has redundancy and awkward phrasing: 'used for used as' repeats the same idea. 'Living purposes' is unnatural; 'residences' or 'for living' is clearer. Also removed excessive fillers and added a comma for clarity. Use plural 'buildings' is correct, so this focuses on wording rather than number.

× And, uh, when I travel across the city, I see a number of tall uh, buildings near me.

✓ When I travel across the city, I see a number of tall buildings near me.

This sentence is mostly correct grammatically; the issue was unnecessary filler words ('uh') and comma placement. No change to verb forms was needed. The instruction required only correcting issues listed; cleaning up disfluencies improves clarity without changing tense.

× I'm very fond of taking photographs and I'm a picture above, so I whenever I see the beautiful design or the French windows near my area or whenever I go for short seeing, I take the photographs of that to keep it as a memory.

✓ I'm very fond of taking photographs, and I'm a keen photographer, so whenever I see a beautiful design or French windows in my area or when I go sightseeing, I take photographs to keep as a memory.

Pronoun and phrase misuse: 'I'm a picture above' is incorrect; 'keen photographer' conveys the intended meaning. 'Short seeing' is wrong; correct term is 'sightseeing'. 'The photographs of that' is awkward; use 'take photographs' or 'take a photo' and 'to keep as a memory'. Adjusted articles and prepositions for natural English.

× Yes, there is an interesting building in my neighborhood which is a museum and I I really wanted to visit that one day but unfortunately till now I have never got a chance to visit there.

✓ Yes, there is an interesting building in my neighborhood that is a museum, and I really wanted to visit it one day, but unfortunately I have not had a chance to visit yet.

Problems: duplicate 'I I'; 'visit there' is redundant—use 'visit it' or 'visit there' but better 'visit it'. 'Till now I have never got a chance' is unidiomatic; use 'I have not had a chance yet'. Also simplified relative clause 'which is a museum' to 'that is a museum' for clarity.

× So I'm planning to visit when go there with my friends and see the unique features and sculptures over.

✓ So I'm planning to visit with my friends to see the unique features and sculptures there.

Original sentence lacks a subject in 'when go there' and ends with unnatural 'sculptures over.' Corrected by making the structure explicit: 'planning to visit with my friends to see...' and use 'there' to indicate location. This fixes sentence fragment and word order.